Manchester United

Marouane Fellaini Lost His Afro And Somehow Got Even Uglier

We could make references to Samson and his hair or joke about awful World Cup hairdos of the past, but really, what’s even the point anymore. Almost a year to the day since Kyle Beckerman lost his dreads, the iconic Marouane Fellaini hair is no more.

Raheem Sterling’s Humiliating Treatment Of United Players Is What Derby Football's All About

Sunday wasn’t Raheem Sterling’s greatest individual display as an attacker, but the 23-year-old again demonstrated why he’s such a vital part of Pep Guardiola’s side — and completely unmatched in his skill set within the England national team — by retaining possession in difficult areas and constantly pulling Manchester United’s well-organized, pressing defensive unit this way and that with his array of clever flicks, dribbles and one-touch passing. 

Man City’s Absurd 42-Pass Team Goal Ensures That Manchester Is Blue

Manchester City achieved what Juventus could not on Sunday, burying Manchester United when another Jose Mourinho smash and grab threatened. Sumptuous goals from David Silva and Sergio Aguero had given City a 2-0 lead, but a needless foul by Ederson on Romelu Lukaku allowed Anthony Martial to halve the deficit in the 58th minute.

Cristiano Ronaldo Somehow One-Upped His Incredible Volleyed Goal With An Even More Absurd Celebration

Try though he might, Cristiano Ronaldo was unable to score on his return to Old Trafford with Juventus a couple weeks ago, though he did record an assist . But with Manchester United coming to Allianz Stadium on Wednesday, the Portuguese star reminded his former club how great he’s become since leaving England in 2009 with a brilliant strike.

Where Does The USWNT Rank Amongst The Winningest Teams Of All Time?

If everything goes according to plan — and, as the numbers to come show, it almost certainly will — the USWNT will reach the milestone of 500 wins with a victory over Portugal on Thursday. Having only begun play in 1985, the program has reached the mark at a fiendish pace by rolling off wins at a remarkable clip — the USWNT boasts a win percentage of 84. That certainly puts the USWNT in the discussion for the winningest team in sports history.  

Marcus Rashford Waited 13.8 Billion Years Before Firing Home Winner For Man U

Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford saw the entire history of the universe pass by as he waited to take his chance against Bournemouth on Saturday. 

When Paul Pogba danced around on the left wing to send in a cross to Rashford in the 92nd minute, the universe had yet to be created. 

As Rashford sized up the cross and hung in the air, the Big Bang exploded the universe into being and gravity, strong, weak and electromagnetic interactions hadn’t even formed 13.8 billion years ago.

Paul Pogba’s Hilariously Bad Half-Volley Is Now The Stuff Of Legend

First things first, I did not watch Manchester United vs. Everton today — I was watching El Clásico. So I’m not in a position to say anything about Paul Pogba’s performance in the 2-1 win, and I don’t want to come off sounding like Pogba-hater-extraordinaire Graeme Souness. 

David De Gea Repeatedly Denies Cristiano Ronaldo Goal On Old Trafford Return

When Cristiano Ronaldo last went up against David de Gea, the Portuguese striker put three past the Spanish keeper in a virtuoso performance during the 2018 World Cup this summer. The Ronaldo vs de Gea matchup went in the opposite direction on Tuesday, with the latter making some impressive saves to deny the former.