Humor

You Better Cech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

In the 60th minute of Arsenal vs. Swansea City, with the score knotted at 1-1, Henrikh Mkhitaryan strode onto the field for his first action as an Arsenal player. Apparently, Arsenal goalkeeper Petr Cech was so enthralled by Mkhitaryan's grand entrance that he forgot to pay attention to the soccer game he was playing in.

The Goal! Film Has Done More For Newcastle This January Than Owner Mike Ashley

There was something we overlooked, fellow Newcastle United supporters. While we were busy putting all our eggs in the Amanda Staveley basket, we failed to realize that we are now entering a halcyon phase in our club’s history without the help of a petroleum-infused war chest. New boy Kenedy, freshly arrived from Chelsea on loan, has brought to our attention the catalyst of the Tyneside Renaissance: the Goal! The Dream Begins film.

The 10 Best (Or Maybe Worst) Names For Miami’s New MLS Team

Major League Soccer is finally coming back to Miami, made official by Monday’s announcement by the league and some fellow named David Beckham. But we still don’t know the new Miami MLS team name. 

Here are some potential names we hope Becks seriously considers for his new team when it launches in a couple years. 

What If The Trailer For "The Hurricane Heist" Was Connected To Soccer Somehow?

Hello, please watch the trailer for Best Picture shoo-in The Hurricane Heist and meet me on the other side for some soccer stuff.

That sure was something, huh? With the waves and the wind and the shooting and the yelling? I thought this was supposed to be a heist movie, not the Merseyside Derby, folks!!!

This is how PSG obtained the money for the Neymar transfer.

The Internet Said Some Mean Things About Leeds United’s New Crest

Leeds United, nearing its 100-year anniversary, spent six months and consulted 10,000 people in designing a new club crest. The three-time champions of England, currently in the second-tier Championship, unveiled the logo on Wednesday with a proud Twitter proclamation. The reaction to the Leeds United crest was not kind. 

We Turned Footballers Into Museum Portraits And The Results Are Horrifying

Google’s Arts & Culture app allows you to take a selfie and realize your fine art doppelgänger after it goes about analyzing your biometric data, and according to The Guardian’s Arwa Mahdawi “the science behind it is scary” and “supports the rise of the surveillance state,” but whatever, you'll die soon and it’s good to have a laugh. 

Zinedine Zidane And Arsene Wenger Should Switch Jobs

Real Madrid and Arsenal are both having terrible (for them) seasons. Real Madrid are in fourth place in La Liga, which is unacceptable for a club that big. Arsenal are in sixth in the Premier League, and in danger of falling out of the Champions League race altogether. Fortunately, there is a solution that fits both clubs, that would benefit each right now and in the long-term: Arsena Wenger and Zinedine Zidane should switch clubs.

You think this is a joke but it's not.

Arsene Wenger and Zinedine Zidane should switch clubs.

Roller Blade Nutmeg Video Is Beautiful And Hilarious

I have no context to give you for this video, but I believe no context is necessary. There is no context that could possibly add anything to how great this video already is, is what I'm saying. OK, I'll shut up. Watch the video.

Bournemouth Loss Puts Arsene Wenger's Arsenal Future In Doubt

Two things stood out as worrying regarding Arsene Wenger's tenure at Arsenal Sunday. The first: Wenger's side lost to Bournemouth, who sit 13th in the Premier League and have a goal differential of -11. The second: this loss was due in part to the absence of Chilean superstar Alexis Sanchez. Sanchez's omittance from the lineup looked an awful lot like the type of healthy scratch that happens when a player is about to transfer clubs.

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