Reporter Is Rushed To Hospital After Attempting Ronaldo’s Bicycle Kick
Cristiano Ronaldo is an inspiration to 30-somethings everywhere. He shows us that despite no longer being the target market and despite no contemporary pop songs being written about our nightly hijinks (“I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 33” just sounds sad), we are still human people. We are still capable of launching ourselves towards the heavens like a SpaceX rocket before getting one over on those nasty, garbage bin 40-somethings in goal.
And so we take that inspiration, we go outside, we lay out some mattresses, we initiate the Cape Canaveral launch sequence and we soar forth like a wisened hatchling.
But then we remember that we’re not Cristiano Ronaldo and that we’ve enjoyed thousands of more beers than Ronaldo. So we come crashing back down to reality, and then we have to go to the hospital.
This classic scenario was played out by Argentinian journalist Manuel Sanchez, and our thoughts and "Siiii!s" go out to him.