Cristiano Ronaldo is probably, no, scratch that, he is the most hated player in soccer right now. I challenge you to name me someone more polarising, I dare you. But, what makes him so easy to dislike?
Well, for starters, the guy has a body that looks as if the Greek god Zeus hand carved it himself. I mean, seriously, I know most of us are out of shape, but there’s no need for Ronaldo to continually take his shirt off in celebration to remind us all of how ridiculously jacked he is. It's not fair.
Keeping with that theme of celebrations, he now has a famous, or rather infamous catchphrase. Ever since that Ballon d’Or presentation where he yelled out “SUUUU!”, it has been an ever-present component of his celebrations.
But what makes everyone hate him (and probably professional players too, at times) is that HIS OWN “SUUUU” SOUND IS ACTUALLY IN FIFA! I don’t know what the people at EA Sports were thinking when they came up with the idea, but it probably went a little like this: "How can we inflate Ronaldo’s ego even more? Oh wait, let’s put his signature celebration yell in there so he can listen to himself everytime he scores in our damn game!”
Another thing that I think every guy is jealous of Ronaldo for is how this guy could probably date anyone he wants. Any dude out there would kill to date supermodel Irina Shayk for five years, and CR7 did just that. Look at the man - this guy would probably be the first male Victoria’s Secret model if that ever became a thing.
Let's also not forget that this guy has an airport named after him. "Flight from London to Ronaldo Airport, now boarding."
Seriously, the airport is actually called "Cristiano Ronaldo Madeira International Airport," and he has his own little face bust outside the airport. Luckily, that isn’t something to be too jealous about. The bust makes Ronaldo looks like a crazy person, and I don’t wish that treatment on anyone, ever. Except for Ronaldo, because he needs to be brought down to our level.
Life is unfair. Why can’t we all be like Ronaldo? We all wish we were, and if you say you don’t want to be like him, you are probably lying or you have a fantastic moral compass. This is why we can’t stand Cristiano, because we aren’t him and we are living in his world of bicycle kicks and plenty of "SUUUU!"