Humor

Last week, U.S. Soccer announced its first youth initiative since the USMNT’s World Cup failure. Bio-banding was presented as a new way to encourage technical development in youth players big and small. It was an idea put forth by the U.S. Soccer High Performance Department. But it turns out, U.S. Soccer should have just asked Facebook, because scores of our readers responded and apparently every single one of them knows exactly how to fix U.S. soccer. 

Roma completed one of the biggest comebacks in Champions League history by overcoming a 4-1 deficit after the first leg in Barcelona. They advanced to the semifinals on away goals after winning the second leg 3-0. When Manolas headed in the game-winning goal everyone (except Barca fans) went crazy: the players, the coaches, the fans, but the best reaction came from Roma’s commentator. This man was screeching like a little kid who got Nintendo 64 for Christmas.

AS Roma did it. The Giallorossi rallied from a three-goal, first-leg deficit to knock off Lionel Messi and Barcelona, 4-4 on aggregate on away goals. It was a thrilling win, with two players who scored own goals in the first leg making up for it with goals in the second leg. But perhaps more thrilling than the incredible comeback on Tuesday was the response from the AS Roma Twitter feed in the aftermath. 

DO NOT SHARE WITH ANYONE OUTSIDE THE MANCHESTER CITY COACHING STAFF AND PLAYERS, THANK YOU.

-Pep

Pinky in the air

Switch to a 4-4-2.

Making a "W" with arms on top of head

Switch to a 4-2-2-2 Brazilian box.

The "Hook 'Em" sign

Switch to a 4-2-3-1.

Hands spreading apart

Play closer to each other (this is trickery).

Hands gone closer together

Spread out (this is also trickery).

Hand to ear like a telephone

Harry Kane swears on his daughter's life that Christian Eriksen's second goal in Spurs' 2-1 victory over Stoke at the weekend brushed his shoulder before it went in the goal, and should therefore be awarded to him, Harry Kane. Obviously the man has not given up on catching Mo Salah for the Golden Boot just yet.

This is an actual thing that Harry Kane said out loud:

Nutmegs are among the most brutal ways for a footballer to humiliate an opponent. Something about the act of a football going in between a footballer's legs and geting collected on the other side can leave one drained of one's will to live. The following videos are of nutmegs so ruthless we highly doubt any of the players on the receiving end have ever been seen again.

This is like one of those Oscars "In Memoriam" montages but for footballers.

(Sad piano music plays)

We all know this: Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the best football players in history.

He has given unquestionable proof of it with a monster bycicle kick against Juventus in the UCL quarterfinals.

However, Ronaldo has a personality that not everyone loves. In fact, many soccer fans kind of hate him in spite of his unquestionable quality.

We may have done it — we may have found the biggest fair-weather football fan on the planet. All it took was one incredible kick of the ball. 

Football fans typically pride themselves in devoting themselves to a team. Normally fans will support two teams: their local club and their national team. Americans might add a European team as well, but typically the most dedicated fans focus on one or two teams. 

Then there’s this guy, Moe. 

Mario Melchiot knows more about football than you or I. He knows more about football than the both of us combined. A native of Amsterdam, Melchiot was a product of the legendary Ajax youth system, making his debut for the first team as a 20-year-old before transferring to Chelsea at just 22.

He played extensively in the Premier League for the Blues, Birmingham City and Wigan Athletic, as well as amassing 22 international caps for the Netherlands over an eight-year international spell.

The Miami MLS team is expected to compete in American soccer's highest division someday, eventually, probably. Because of the proposed team's enviable location and its connection to David Beckham, some big names are already being associated with the team, which doesn't even have a name yet.

But.