Funny

BREAKING: Cristiano Ronaldo Airport Bust Speaking, Questioning Validity Of Own Existence

The bust of Cristiano Ronaldo at the Cristiano Ronaldo International Airport in Madeira has miraculously gained consciousness, it’s first words being “I think you all should know that I’m feeling very depressed.”

“Do I have a mark on my face?” he then asked. “It really hurts. I can’t feel my body, so that doesn’t hurt very much, but my face does. Right here,” he said while scrunching the left side of his face. “Not here or here so much. Right here.”

Cristiano Ronaldo’s Airport Renaming Ceremony Was A Horror Show

It’s been said that hands and the likeliness of an infant are two of the most difficult undertakings in the artistic world. For hands, it is a question of naturalness — even in reality, especially during photographs, we struggle to know what to do with our cursed hands. For the infant, it is the difficulty in portraying youthful exuberance. Wander through an art gallery and you’ll find many children whose faces look no different from their elders, it is only their size that differentiates them.

The 20 Stages Of Game Day For Every Youth Soccer Parent

When you sign your kid up for youth soccer, you should know that you're signing yourself up as well. Your nights will now include driving to and from practice and your weekends will be booked with various games and tournaments. You may be confused at the beginning of the season, but after a few weeks, you'll quickly understand why the sacrifices you have to make are worth it.

How To Stop Football's Most Unstoppable Forces

There are some things in football that just seem impossible to stop. Can anyone stop Lionel Messi from having an influence on the game? No. You can only hope to contain him for damage limitation. Can anyone stop Arjen Robben from cutting inside? No. You just have to hope he’s injured and not available for selection. Can England stop Iceland’s long throw even though it’s their only form of attack? No. Roy Hodgson isn't ready for that.

Jamie Vardy Might Just Be Dobby The House-Elf Reincarnated

At times, Dobby was a bad house-elf. Employed by the Malfoy family, who he detested and worked against, Dobby warned Harry Potter of the actions of dark wizards and saved Harry’s life at Malfoy Manor. He’d subsequently do things like bang his face against cabinets, hit his own head with a lamp and iron his own hands for his disobedience. 

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