Funny

18 Of The Best Ray Hudson Calls Brought To Life

Ray Hudson's Best Calls

18. “GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

17. “Showing him this much space is like handing the keys to the blood bank to Dracula.”

 

16. “Defenders try to follow him on Facebook and he comes out on Twitter, that’s how evasive he is.”

 

15. “As electrifying as a hairdryer thrown into a hot tub, my friend.”

14. “He could shave a mouse in his sleep and not disturb her.”

 

Viral Video Of Ridiculous LaLiga Flop Is Taking The Piss

A viral video has surfaced of an absurd flop during a LaLiga match between Cádiz and Granada earlier in October. 

Cádiz forward Iván Alejo must have got cocky after scoring in the 48th minute and felt the need to try for an Oscar Award for Best Actor. Alejo pulled out all the stops.

The Cleats In The Basement: A Youth Soccer Horror Story

My mom still despises me for choosing to be a goalkeeper. On top of smelly cleats, shin guards and socks, I add the horrendous smelling gloves to boot. In an effort to counteract the stench of my gear she has me store all of the belongings in a box downstairs during the offseason.

I guess it’s a bit of a win-win situation. She’s too scared to venture to the basement due to the slim chance of seeing a mouse, spider, ant or anything else alive that isn’t human. While it’s a slight nuisance to have to keep my stuff down there, she at least doesn’t pester me about the smell.

A Complete List Of Every Single American To Have Ever Played In El Clásico

El Clasico might be the most storied rivalry in all of soccer. It dates back to 1902, and since then there have been 244 competitive meetings between Real Madrid and Barcelona, with each team claiming 96 wins. 

In recent years, the rivalry has expanded to other continents with the first El Clasico played on American soil taking place in Miami in 2017 during the International Champions Cup exhibition competition. 

This Club’s Training Drills Must’ve Been Created By A 5-Year-Old

If I had a nickel for every time I wrote about fish soccer I would have ten cents, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. I tip my hat to any readers who understand that reference.

Obscure nods to TV shows aside, I once again bring you the joys of fish soccer. This time around the humans are pretending to be slippery salmons seeking scoring success. Carlisle United, in England’s League Two, must have a child orchestrating the team’s recovery sessions. The players engaged in the most ridiculous “recovery” exercise I have ever seen.

Pepe Is The Dickhead We’d Send To Fight Mars’ Biggest Dickhead

Eyes bulging, brows knitted and limbs a collection of angular bludgeoning tools, Pepe came rumbling and tumbling toward Raheem Sterling in the back of the area after nearly committing a series of fouls with only one thing on his mind: to successfully commit a foul this time.

If there was an ounce of embellishment on Sterling’s part it was only in that he immediately recognized Pepe’s cruel intentions and tried to save himself. 

5 Activities Average Americans Are Definitely Better At Than Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo is a freak of nature whose abs could harness the power of Medusa and turn people to stone. He’s a fitness and fashion icon, debated G.O.A.T of the world’s most popular sport and has a past girlfriends depth chart for the ages. What is Ronaldo bad at? Is there anything us mortals could outperform the Portuguese god in?

2018’s Best Footballers Are Being Dropped, Dragged And Damned

Imagine, for a minute, that you've been in one long sleep since the summer of 2018. You wake up, think about all the plot holes in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, listen to the yodeling Walmart kid and then see it’s Tuesday, October 20th, 2020.

“Holy shit!” you scream. “It’s Tuesday — the Champions League is on!”

With memories of the 2017-18 season and the Russia World Cup dancing through your head, you start by turning on Juventus vs. Dynamo Kyiv. 

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