Mario Balotelli missed the first two minutes of Nice vs. Nantes because his shoes were too tight. I'll admit, I thought a video titled "Balotelli suffers bizarre wardrobe malfunction" would be a lot more interesting. Still, we much take what we can get.
(Editor's note: This is the perfect excuse to leave this here:)
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is mostlyknown for two things: thinking very highly of himself, and doing things on a soccer field that cause other people to think very highly of him.
The first trait was on display when Zlatan met Juan Carlos I, the 79-year-old former King of Spain.
Twenty-two-year-old striker Mohammed Anas went from hero to zero in a matter of moments this weekend, at least in the eyes of his wife. After scooping the Man of the Match award in a South African ABSA Premiership match, the forward from Ghana took a moment to thank those who’ve helped him achieve such a feat: his wife and his girlfriend.
Anas tries to recover, but the mistake has already been made and you can see the euphoria quickly turn to dread. He might’ve won an award, but he might’ve lost either his wife, his girlfriend or both.
Speaking with the BBC, Jose Mourinho says that he "found a sad club" when he arrived at Manchester United. He also said, "We have lots of enemies. Normally it would just be Rostov but we have a lot more." Mourinho then did his own version of Drake's "Energy" off of If You're Reading This It's Too Late (not really).
(Play the video, but substitute the lyrics below.)
The sports, they have been good this month.
The Champions League is in full swing. Every college basketball fan on the planet is issuing friendly reminders that THIS IS MARCH. Hockey is doing hockey things. Baseball is still in the background, where it belongs. American football is far enough removed from our sports consciousness that we don't constantly feel guilty for liking it.
So, sports!
Bayer Leverkusen's 17-year-old prodigy Kai Havertz has already appeared in the Champions League and appeared 13 times in the Bundesliga. He has the potential to be special.
But, as a 17-year-old, he still has to go to school, which is why he is missing the second leg of Leverkusen's round of 16 tie against Atletico Madrid.
Personnel situation:
Injured:
Toprak
Tah
Kießling
BenderYellow-card ban:
Henrichs
The LA Galaxy challenged the Portland Timbers, and our MLS Rankings of Power, by posting a disparaging meme aimed at Diego Chara and David Guzman after the two combined to get Jelle Van Damme sent off on Sunday.
Van Damme was booked for both tackles although he made contact with neither player. Guzman actually spectacularly injured himself with his dive, which is another joke in and of itself.