Fails

Rather than filling the void, these massive FIFA tournaments that are being broadcast on Twitch, FS1 and Telemundo have only served to highlight what a godawful replacement eSports are for their real life equivalents. Put simply, they’re not that fun to watch.

I’ve also realized that there’s a direct correlation between being good at FIFA and being particularly boring — who really wants to see someone exploit the game’s META (Most Effective Tactics Available) bullshit time after time while looking like Manchester City on bath salts? 

Australian striker Archie Thompson holds the record for the most goals in a single official international match when he put 13 past American Samoa on April 11, 2001. It was a brutal game for American Samoa as the game finished 31-0. That score line is a blowout even in American football. 

This blowout was a prime example of why Australia changed federations in 2006 from the Oceania Football Confederation to the Asian Football Confederation. 

Robert Lewandowski proved to the world why he's a striker and not a goalkeeper when a video from his Instagram revealed his terrible abilities in goal. The Bayern Munich star was playing in the yard with his two-year-old daughter Klara when he committed one of the worst acts of goalkeeping ever seen.

Robert Lewandowski, world class striker, world class dad

(via _rl9/Instagram) pic.twitter.com/JXTdBbt2I4

I don’t know what this woman was pitching in this conference call, but it’s a yes from me. I’m all in. Let’s produce 100,000. Shut 'em down, open up shop. Oh, no. That’s how Ruff Ryders roll.

Her ability to stay cool and collected in the face of what appears to be Querétaro’s Jair Pereira smashing into stuff is as impressive as an Edwardian cockerel. 

Every former footballer can think back to their playing days and remember those games when the elements went wild. Sometimes you were about to pass out due to heat exhaustion, freeze to death in tundra-like weather or drown from a downpour of rain.

The professionals have to deal with the elements as well, as seen in this list of the worst weather football games ever.

The Worst Weather Football Games Of All Time

#1. The Cold