Fails

You know that scene in various movies in which a character either fakes his or her own death or is otherwise presumed dead but actually alive, and that character watches his or her funeral from behind a tree while wearing sunglasses? Ricardo Oliveira came about as close as you can get to that experience in real life.

It’s come to light that the best opportunity Barcelona had to snatch a goal to begin their famous comeback against Juventus wasn’t squandered by Lionel Messi but by Luis Suarez at kick off.

Juventus defender Dani Alves was off the pitch, shaking hands with his old coaching staff (one coach playfully holding his hand long enough to incur a slap from Alves) while Luis Enrique beckoned the Brazilian to take a seat next to him.

Hulk missed out on Shanghai SIPG’s trip to Japan for an AFC Champions League match against Urawa Red Diamonds, so this article isn’t about him scoring an absolute banger after running through 10 defenders, and that's a damn shame.

In what appears to be a master class on how to lose games and alienate teammates, Puebla keeper Cristian Campestrini demonstrated near-perfect blooper technique in snatching defeat from the jaws of an impending draw on Saturday.

Level at 2-2 versus top-of-the-table Chivas with only seconds remaining, bottom-of-the-table Puebla were running out of options for how to horrifically lose the match. Fans and players alike were certain they would walk away with a point from the encounter, risking Puebla's status as the losingest team in the league.

In a game with massive implications at both ends of the table in the English Championship (Newcastle United aiming for promotion and the title, Burton Albion trying to avoid relegation), match referee Keith Stroud simply and utterly messed up. He and his assistants, for whatever reason, didn’t know the rules and for a long period of time chaos reigned at St. James’ Park.

With the scores level at 0-0 in the 30th-minute, Stroud pointed to the spot after Dwight Gayle was tripped in the area.

Corinthians defeated Universidad de Chile in the first leg of their Copa Sudamericana matchup, but the real story was a heroic ball man inside the Arena Corinthians in Sao Paulo.

An overzealous Universidad de Chile player was eager to get the ball back with his side losing 1-0 and halftime fast approaching. The valiant ball man, in his own way, eventually obliged.

But then he got brutally touched right in the heart. We don’t know what happened then. Judging by his facial expression it looks like his heart simply broke. 

Much of the consternation surrounding the England National Team (this is before the loss to Iceland, of course) surrounded the taking of corner kicks. Manager Roy Hodgson had Harry Kane, who is 6'3", on the job. Many argued someone else, someone shorter, should be taking corners so Kane could have the opportunity to head said corners into the back of the net.

Fortunately, new England manager Gareth Southgate does not have such an issue, as Stoke City forward Charlie Adam has solved it for him.