Europe

The opening seven seconds of today’s Premier League fixture between Europa League hopefuls Watford and relegation-threatened Southampton DID NOT DISAPPOINT. A lot of supporters inside Vicarage Road hadn’t even made it to their seats by the time Shane Long opened the scoring for the Saints. Clocked at just seven seconds, it’s the fastest goal in Premier League history. 

The previous mark was held by Tottenham’s Ledley King, who scored with a deflected effort against Bradford back in 2000 inside 9.7 seconds. 

Monday featured yet another onslaught of goals in the early workings of a game in Europe. This time Chelsea and Burnley combined for four goals in the first 25 minutes of action at Stamford Bridge.

Both teams were looking for a much-needed win with Burnley fighting against relegation and Chelsea fighting for a top four spot. Ultimately, following a 2-2 draw, both teams got some help in their respective causes. For Burnley, the point all but secures the club's participation in the Premier League for a fourth straight season.  

During Monday’s Premier League matchup with Burnley, Chelsea winger Callum Hudson-Odoi was subbed off after an apparent foot injury in the first half. The 18-year-old phenom had to be helped off the field in the 42nd minute and was replaced by Pedro. Chelsea went on to draw 2-2 with Burnley as both teams went scoreless in the second half after a frantic opening 45 minutes.

After the game, Chelsea fans' worst fears were confirmed as the attacker said his Achilles was ruptured in a tweet.

Leeds United suffered a huge blow in its chase for automatic promotion to the Premier League this afternoon. After a season of dominant performances in the Championship, the business end of the campaign hasn't been so kind to the West Yorkshire giants.

It’s interesting to see how the media leans into stereotypes and known formulas of success — regardless of truth or sincerity in approach — to perpetually reinforce the confirmation bias of its readership.

For example, this past weekend Chelsea striker Gonzalo Higuain spoke about how criticism used to affect his personal life before he acquired a sense of perspective regarding his own career and the amount of importance that should be placed on chasing a ball around a large patch of grass.

We all know what it would mean to Liverpool if the club could capture its first league title since 1989-90, but something similar has gone down in Greece where PAOK has just been crowned Super League champions for the first time since 1984-85.

Based in Thessaloniki — the most populous city in Greece outside of Athens — PAOK had suffered heartbreak after heartbreak following that 1985 title, including finishing runners-up in both 2015-16 and 2017-18. 

After two consecutive defeats turned the narrative surrounding PSG into the sort of existential crisis that could only be penned by compatriot Jean-Paul Sartre, Kylian Mbappé’s 55-minute hat trick — taking him to 30 goals on the year and just three behind Lionel Messi in the race for the European Golden Shoe — propelled the club to a sixth Ligue 1 title in seven seasons.  

In the wake of Manchester United’s Champions League exit, we were treated to a plethora of listicles analyzing who should be shown the door at Old Trafford. After today’s historic 4-0 defeat to Everton, it’s clear that a much easier question is simply who stays. 

The match was a masterclass in the various United shortcomings that’ve gripped the inter webs over the last year or two: How does the third-richest club in the world boast a center pairing of Chris Smalling and Phil Jones? Does Anthony Martial not give a shit to the point of constipation? Who is Fred?

Wherever he goes, hardware follows. Now you can add scudetto to the list of Cristiano Ronaldo trophies.

A rampaging run from Ronaldo forced an own goal by Fiorentina’s Germán Pezzella to lift Juventus to a 2-1 victory at Allianz Stadium on Saturday. The three points put the Old Lady 20 points ahead of second-place Napoli. With five matches left (six for Napoli), Juventus cannot be caught and thus claimed its remarkable eighth straight Serie A title.

After a quarterfinal round that produced two absolute classic, the semifinals of the 2018-19 Champions League can’t come soon enough. Today, UEFA confirmed the dates and times for both Tottenham vs. Ajax and Barcelona vs. Liverpool in the final four the competition.

The semifinals will begin on Tuesday, Apr. 30, with Spurs hosting Ajax at the newly opened Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in London. Action continues on Wednesday, May 1, when Barcelona welcomes Liverpool to the Camp Nou for the first leg of their tie.