Fails

Sven Ulreich Really Wishes Manuel Neuer Was Back Healthy

Poor Sven. All he wanted to do was hang out on the Bayern bench and rack up trophies, but then Manuel Neuer had to go and get injured in September. Now, after another Sven Ulreich howler against Real Madrid on Tuesday, the Bayern Munich backup is making a name for himself in all the wrong ways. 

Referee Takes A Sad Little Tumble And Gets Booked For Diving

Vitesse players were able to share a laugh with referee Jochem Kamphuis during today’s Eredivisie match against FC Twente, although the Twente players were probably less amused. Vitesse’s 5-0 win confirmed Twente’s relegation to the Eerste Divisie. 

The club from the city of Enschede will now play in the second tier after winning the top division title as recently as 2010, when the club was managed by Englishman Steve McClaren. 

Youth Team Gets Blasted By A Rogue Sprinkler, Triggering Chaos

Here it is, the most fitting visual representation of Monday you’ll ever find. Friday was all smiles, cheers and waves (especially if you just touched down in Nashville to celebrate a bachelor party), and then Monday violently appeared only moments later — blasting you in the face with a jet stream of tepid sewage water. 

You were lost in the sauce, but now it’s time to wake up and reap what’ve you’ve sown. Monday's coming in hot. 

Reporter Is Rushed To Hospital After Attempting Ronaldo’s Bicycle Kick

Cristiano Ronaldo is an inspiration to 30-somethings everywhere. He shows us that despite no longer being the target market and despite no contemporary pop songs being written about our nightly hijinks (“I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 33” just sounds sad), we are still human people. We are still capable of launching ourselves towards the heavens like a SpaceX rocket before getting one over on those nasty, garbage bin 40-somethings in goal.

A Very Crappy Piece Of Goalkeeping Allows Juve To Score A Miracle Third

It’s 3-3 on aggregate at the Santiago Bernabeu after Blaise Matuidi’s leveling goal in the 60th minute. Two previous headers from Mario Mandzukic put Juventus on the precipice of a miracle, and the former PSG man has now completed the comeback.

Douglas Costa, who’s been unplayable on the right-hand side, whipped in a cross, Keylor Navas really screwed the pooch and Matuidi tapped in with 30 minutes to play.

Watch Cristiano Ronaldo Try Too Hard And Hilariously Fail

We all know this: Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the best football players in history.

He has given unquestionable proof of it with a monster bycicle kick against Juventus in the UCL quarterfinals.

However, Ronaldo has a personality that not everyone loves. In fact, many soccer fans kind of hate him in spite of his unquestionable quality.

Woking Defender Gives Up On Play, Offers Valuable Life Lesson

Picture this scenario: it’s the 94th minute of the game, the score is tied at 2-2. A striker on the opposition puts the ball past the keeper for what seems like a certain goal. Well, that's just what was happening in a match feautring Woking FC and Macclesfield Town in English football's fifth tier.

Bruce Arena Wants You To Give Him Money For Failing To Get The U.S. To The World Cup

Bruce Arena (with the help of Jurgen Klinsmann and some uninspired performances from the players) failed to qualify the U.S. for the 2018 World Cup. Now he wants to monetize that failure with a new autobiography. The Bruce Arena book is titled “What's Wrong with US?: A Coach’s Blunt Take on the State of American Soccer After a Lifetime on the Touchline,” a clear and obvious money grab revolving around a fiasco of his own creation. 

Mauro Icardi Misses Two Shocking Tap-Ins In A Scoreless Milan Derby

AC Milan’s Champions League quest — viewed as a necessity following their outrageous summer spending — is all but doomed following a scoreless draw with Inter Milan in the 168th Serie A edition of the Derby della Madonnina. Following today’s result, Milan still sit eight points back of Inter in fourth place with only eight matches remaining.

The scene at the San Siro before kickoff was exactly what you’d expect from one of the world’s fiercest derbies. Here’s the tifo from the Milan fans in the Curva Sud.

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