Videos

Barca Give Ousmane Dembele The Training Montage Treatment On Return

It’s an old trope of film that always gets the job done effectively and, more importantly, concisely: the training montage. Films like the Rocky franchise, The Karate Kid, X-Men: First Class, The Fighter, Cool Runnings, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Hunger Games and you get the point have all utilized the uplifting sequence to quickly portray a long passage of time devoted to painstaking preparation.

Three Japanese Internationals Taking On 100 Kids Proves Children Are Useless

If you learn anything today, please let it be this: Kids are not good at anything. This recent video of 100 children taking on three Japanese internationals will serve as my indisputable evidence.

Hiroshi Kiyotake, Hotaru Yamaguchi and Yosuke Ideguchi faced off against 30 forwards, 30 midfielders, 30 defenders and 10 goalkeepers in a friendly match recently. While the youngsters were well drilled in positional discipline (they refused to be pulled from their defensive stations), their skills left a lot to be desired.

Video Of Adama Traore’s Terrifying Pace Demands A Second Viewing

Adama Traore is soccer’s Usain Bolt. He’s a Bugatti. He’s Sonic the Hedgehog. He’s Jimmy John’s. He’s stupid fast and you won’t even see it coming.

In a match against Aston Villa recently, Middlesbrough’s Adama Traore won a foot race that he wasn’t even involved in. While two players chased after the ball like two pups playing with a chew toy, Adama blew both of them away — and it wasn’t even close. 

These Sensational Goals Are Just What Your New Year’s Day Hangover Needs

If you’re like most of the (of age) world, you went out and had a few too many drinks on New Year’s Eve. Maybe you’re not feeling too bubbly this morning after all the bubbly at midnight. Fortunately, we’ve got just the thing for you: magnificent Premier League goals.

Zico Could Kill A Mosquito From 40 Yards With His Incredible Free Kicks

I had a teammate growing up who was our regular penalty kick taker. He would slowly walk up to the ball and kick it meekly toward the corner. Eventually, the ball would trickle into the back of the net, with supreme accuracy overriding the deliberate pace of the shot. Brazilian legend Zico’s free kicks would do the same thing, only from 20 to 40 yards out.

This Marek Hamsik Goal Confirms He’s Illuminati

Breaking news from The Eighteen Dot Com: Marek Hamsik is in the Illuminati. There is simply no other way to explain this confluence of events from Friday. How else do you rationalize No. 17 scoring in the 17th minute for his 117th goal with Napoli in the final game of 2017, all while wearing a patch with Hamsik’s face and the No. 17 on it?

Marek Hamsik, the Slovakian midfielder who has played for Napoli in the Serie A for a decade, was honored during the match by his Italian club, which wore patches to honor him as the club’s all-time leading scorer.

How Do You Take A Corner Kick When The Ball Is Floating In A Puddle?

For a corner kick to be taken, the ball must be placed withing the confines of the corner arc. Otherwise, chaos will ensue. Gravity will cease to exist. Everyone will float around everywhere, bumping into stuff chaotically because they have no control over anything. All the colors will turn negative. Vegetables will begin eating people. Bears will begin speaking human languages, but only ancient Greek for some reason. It will be OK to use your cell phone on an airplane.

The world will be an M. Night Shyamalan movie, basically.

Stressful Holidays? Here’s Two Minutes Of Soothing Dennis Bergkamp Touches

New Year’s Eve is approaching, so it’s time to get all stressed out about having the best time ever while throwing up Smirnoff Ice in the toilet or whatever. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the holiday season, but it’s also extremely likely that you’ve suffered your share of anxiety due to travel, a damning inability to properly give justice to your own existence and personal beliefs over dinner conversation and the realization that another 365-day period has been spent slaving over inconsequential tedium in the face of death, which you’ll inevitably experience entirely alone.

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