Humor

A Cologne striker has finally scored — a role in a new movie. Peruvian Claudio Pizarro voices a character in the German-language version of the new animated Pixar film “Coco,” which is out now in a Kino near you (assuming you live in Germany). 

Pizarro is an old man nearing the end of his career on the pitch. He may have found a new calling with his voiceover role in “Coco,” which is about a young Mexican boy who is transported to the Land of the Dead during Día de los Muertos. The 39-year-old voices a skeleton who desperately wants to watch a soccer match.

Italy has gone over all Italian again. Chievo and Hellas Verona looked Italian cultural stereotypes dead in the face before their Coppa Italia clash Wednesday and decided "Yep, that's us" and exchanged wine and panettone (a type of Italian sweetbread) at the captains' meeting. We are not making this up.

During Chievo vs Hellas Verona today the two captains exchanged wine & panettone

This is literally the most Italian thing ever 

A little over a year ago, Renato Sanches was one of the hottest young commodities in European football. In 2016 he won the Portuguese Primeira Liga with Benfica and helped Portugal win the European Championship. On Wednesday, a Renato Sanches pass was so bad it nearly brought his coach to tears. 

Piers Morgan, Arsenal's most bombastic celebrity fan who does not appear regularly on Arsenal Fan TV, embroiled himself in a heated exchange with the (probably fake) Twitter account of one Kolo Toure, the former Arsenal defender and current Celtic coach.

You may remember previous iterations of Cristiano Ronaldo statues, including but not necessarily limited to the one that's really happy to see you and the one that may or may not be Frankenstein's monster. For all Cristiano's charms, he just can't seem to catch a break as far as getting a statue that actually looks like him. Until now.

A macaque monkey (fun fact: the most widespread primate genus aside from humans) delivered the match ball in a Japanese J-League match over the weekend while threaded out in full Cerezo Osaka kit. The monkey attempted a brief session of free styling before picking up the football and delivering it to the referee.

It’s not as riveting as War for the Planet of the Apes, but you do get the feeling that an evolved chimpanzee like Caesar would absolutely hate something like this.

Here at The18, I’m in charge of the children. I keep tabs on all the babies, I have baby skills — why can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!