Champions League

Please Give Us The Possibility Of A Liverpool vs. Roma UCL Final

Liverpool and AS Roma have made this the most exciting Champions League in recent years (at least as far as the semifinals are concerned). Here's why a Liverpool versus AS Roma UCL final would be the best thing that could possibly happen to us.

There's a good reason powerhouses Real Madrid, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Juventus always feature in the most definitive rounds of Europe's most important competition, and yet, even though these teams never cease to amaze us, there's something refreshing and exciting about teams like Liverpool and Roma making it so far.

The Hipsters Watching Sevilla-Bayern Munich Were The Real Winners

While the dirty brainwashed masses were enraptured by the spectacle of Juventus-Real Madrid, the real soccer fans, the true connoisseurs, were focused on Sevilla-Bayern Munich.

If That’s Goodbye, What A Batshit Ending To Gigi Buffon’s Career

If we’ve just witnessed Gianluigi Buffon’s final UEFA Champions League game, it was somewhat fitting given the plethora of fresh hells this competition has provided him with over the years. For half an hour, it looked like the footballing gods were finally smiling upon Italy’s favorite son — Juventus had miraculously turned around a three-goal deficit at the Bernabeu, and Buffon had recorded five vital saves to make it happen.

This Just In: Champions League Canceled In Lieu Of Ronaldo Highlight Reel

We interrupt this year’s Champions League to inform you that this year’s competition has been canceled. In lieu of a tournament to determine the best team in Europe, UEFA has installed a series of challenges to show how amazing Cristiano Ronaldo is. Forget Real Madrid vs Juventus, Roma vs. Barcelona or Liverpool vs. Manchester City, all we really need is CR7.

Ronaldo haters, turn away now. 

A Very Crappy Piece Of Goalkeeping Allows Juve To Score A Miracle Third

It’s 3-3 on aggregate at the Santiago Bernabeu after Blaise Matuidi’s leveling goal in the 60th minute. Two previous headers from Mario Mandzukic put Juventus on the precipice of a miracle, and the former PSG man has now completed the comeback.

Douglas Costa, who’s been unplayable on the right-hand side, whipped in a cross, Keylor Navas really screwed the pooch and Matuidi tapped in with 30 minutes to play.

Mario Mandzukic Puts Juventus Two-Thirds Of The Way To A Miracle Against Real Madrid

Juventus arrived at the Santiago Bernabeu needing a miracle to overturn a three-goal deficit on the road at Real Madrid. By halftime on Wednesday, the Bianconeri were well on their way to a second straight Italian miracle thanks to two Mario Mandzukic goals against Real Madrid. 

On Tuesday, it was AS Roma rallying from three goals down to stun Barcelona. After losing 3-0 in Turin, Juventus was up against it against the two-time reigning champions. 

Roma Shock Barca With 3-Goal Comeback While Messi Ghosts Out Of The Champions League

It’s no secret: as Messi goes, so too does Barcelona. Accordingly, the Catalan side’s shock elimination to Roma in the Champions League quarterfinals — Roma pulling off an incredible three-goal comeback to win 4-4 on aggregate via an away goal — isn’t all that shocking.

Who are we kidding, it's f*cking insane.  

The Italian side nullified the world’s best player over 180 minutes of action and thoroughly outplayed the runaway La Liga leaders at the Stadio Olimpico on Tuesday night. 

Was Man City’s Goal Correctly Disallowed For Offside?

Manchester City thought it had scored a second goal late in the first half against Liverpool, a goal that would have put the Citizens up 2-0 and two thirds of the way to erasing the 3-0 defeat from the first leg of their Champions League quarterfinal. But the referees thought otherwise and the disallowed Manchester City goal was a defining moment of the first half.

Man City Scored Oh No Liverpool

Pep Guardiola set up his Manchester City side to attack like the beasts of hell were after them, and it paid off immediately with Gabriel Jesus capitalizing on a Liverpool mistake and slotting the ball past Loris Karius two minutes in.

This is exactly the sort of start Manchester City were looking for, as any knowledgeable football expert will tell you. City still need two more to draw leven with the Reds, but they are looking very feisty thus far.

Do We Even Need To Watch The Second Legs Of The UCL Quarterfinals?

Real Madrid smashed Juventus 3-0. Bayern Munich got past Sevilla 2-1 on the road. Barcelona played like shit and still beat Roma 4-1.

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