WTF

With Complete Lack Of Self-Awareness, Sepp Blatter Calls On Current FIFA Prez To Be Suspended

BERN — Former FIFA president Sepp Blatter has called for his successor, Gianni Infantino, to be suspended by the global soccer body after criminal proceedings were opened against Infantino in Switzerland.

Swiss authorities said on Thursday that proceedings had been launched against the current FIFA boss by a special prosecutor looking into meetings he had with Swiss Attorney General Michael Lauber. Lauber and Infantino have denied wrongdoing.

CBS Is Making It Hard As Hell To Watch The Champions League

Editor's Note: This story is for the end of the 2019-20 season. For the 2020-2021 season, read here.

There was a time, back before Tommy Smyth began broadcasting into our homes on weekday afternoons, that it was all but impossible to find European soccer on TV in the U.S. 

Switzerland Opens Criminal Case Against FIFA President Gianni Infantino

Criminal proceedings have been opened against FIFA president Gianni Infantino by a special prosecutor looking into dealings between the head of the global soccer body and Swiss Attorney General Michael Lauber, Swiss authorities said on Thursday.

Portland Timbers Vs. FC Cincinnati: Which Team Committed The More Apocalyptic Error?

In 2019, FC Cincinnati stunk up MLS with a negative-44 goal differential and tied for the fourth-most amount of losses in a single season in MLS history. This season didn’t show much promise either as the club had to hire a new head coach after former coach Ron Jans resigned in February following allegations of using a racial slur in front of players.

Oiled Up With Adama Traoré: The Secret To The Wolves Winger's Success

Wolverhampton Wanderers winger Adama Traoré is a speed demon on the field and one of the fastest players in the Premier League. His quick turns on a dime and ability to slip through the defense make him a player to be reckoned with.

But he's decided to add a new layer to his game which makes it that much harder to defend against him. What is it, you ask?

It’s not new footwork. It’s not increased fitness. No, it’s much better than that.

Brazilian Player Goes Full Nigel De Jong Into The Face Of An Opponent

Apart from Zinedine Zidane’s masterful headbutt on Marco Materazzi, the most infamous foul in 21st century World Cup finals is certainly Nigel de Jong’s hatchet man kung fu kick into the chest of Xabi Alonso.

It should’ve been a straight red — even referee Howard Webb admitted as much later — but it takes some cojones to effectively end the World Cup final after only 28 minutes. 

Fuenlabrada Denied LaLiga Promotion Playoff Place Because Of COVID-19

Spanish side Fuenlabrada's final match that was postponed after several players tested positive for COVID-19 has been officially suspended and will not take place, denying the second division side a shot at promotion, LaLiga said on Sunday.

Fuenlabrada, who was due to play Deportivo La Coruña last week, confirmed 12 more positive tests on Saturday, bringing the number of cases at the club to 28.

Major League Spicy: Watch As I Torture Myself With Jalapeños

One idiotic night an idea came to me that I now regret in every way, shape and form. The concept was to spice up Major League Soccer coverage with the addition of hot peppers. Little did I know that I would soon enter a hellhole of pain, heart burn and the loss of taste buds.

The Philadelphia Union may have defeated the New England Revolution 1-0, but the real loser was the moron watching with the jalapeños.

Like Some Sort Of Nightmare, Sassuolo Has 4 Goals Disallowed In Loss To Napoli

Hapless Sassuolo had four goals disallowed for offside, three of them following VAR reviews, in an unlucky 2-0 defeat by Napoli in Serie A on Saturday.

Elseid Hysaj put Napoli ahead in the eighth minute, the Albanian's first goal for the club on his 193rd appearance, with a low shot from the edge of the penalty area.

Filip Djuricic had the ball in the net for Sassuolo in the 32nd minute but the linesman flagged and it was immediately disallowed for offside.

26 Minutes Into French Football’s Restart, Someone Nearly Broke Mbappé’s Ankle

On Wednesday, Kylian Mbappé was announced as the FIFA 21 cover boy. On Friday, Kylian Mbappé’s entire 2021 was put in jeopardy early in the first French football match since the Covid-19 shutdown.

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