Outrageous

Vissel Kobe and Yokohama F Marinos combined for one of the worst PK shootout performances you’ll ever see on Saturday. With the Japanese Super Cup on the line, the two clubs combined to miss nine straight penalties before Andres Iniesta’s Kobe eventually prevailed 3-2.

After regulation ended 3-3, the Super Cup match went straight to a shootout, which began innocuously enough. Both sides converted their first two attempts, including a smoothly taken shot from Iniesta, the former Barcelona star. 

Somewhat lost in the hubbub of Erling Håland arriving at Borussia Dortmund has been the professional debut of 17-year-old American Giovanni Reyna. That’s understandable considering Håland seemingly scores once every 30 seconds. 

After all the acclaim and praise that Real Madrid’s Federico Valverde received for his tactical red card in the Spanish Super Cup final, it’s only right that we highlight this draw-preserving bit of the dark arts from Garforth Town’s Alex Low.

At the office of The18, we take our foosball pretty seriously. Although the incessant banging of ball against High Pressure Laminate walls isn’t conducive to maintaining a train of thought (don’t blame me for all the nonsense I write), the call of the 2-5-3 formation is too strong to ignore. For some, that call has turned into an obsession — these are the professional foosballers among us.

Last week, Manuel Neuer provided another example of his unique ability to excel outside of the box. While others attempt to emulate his brazen style of play, few can replicate his skill as a sweeper keeper. Schalke’s goalie, for one, provided an example of how not to play sweeper keeper, resulting in a deserved Alexander Nübel red card for one of the most violent tackles you’ll ever see on the pitch.

Things are not going well for Tottenham on the pitch, to the point many Spurs fans are calling for drastic changes in the team. Meanwhile, the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium pitch is undergoing some pretty awesome transformations of its own.

This was not a Madrid Derby to remember. Players like João Félix, Eden Hazard and Kieran Trippier received their first taste of the capital-city clasico, but none were able to make much of an imprint in a 0-0 draw between Real and Atlético Madrid on Saturday at the Wanda. 

Atleti keeper Jan Oblak was probably the best player on the pitch, making a couple great saves on Toni Kroos and Karim Benzema. But Real Madrid’s offensive forays were summed up most appropriately by an effort from Gareth Bale in the 57th minute.

You probably know by now, but the man in the above video is not LA Galaxy striker Zlatan Ibrahimović — it's Bayern Munich swingman Nihad Đedović. But Đedović is, without a doubt, Zlatan’s basketball-playing doppelgänger.

Đedović is one inch taller than Zlatan, but he’s got the same professional athlete physique, the same flowing lion’s mane turned man bun, the Zappa beard and the nose. 

Fresh off blowing a two-goal lead in a draw with Atlético Madrid in the Champions League at midweek, Juventus conceded an early penalty kick back at home to Hellas Verona in Serie A. What then transpired was a ridiculous Miguel Veloso goal vs Juventus, the exact same type of bullshit that makes you hate and love the FIFA video game series at the same time.