Men

There Is One Man Whose Shadow Messi Can't Escape. Messi Doesn't Speak To Him

Lionel Messi won't get out of Diego Maradona's potbellied, cocaine-snorting shadow until he wins a World Cup, which may partly explain why Messi hasn't spoken to Maradona since the 2010 iteration of the tournament, in which Maradona coached Argentina.

Given that Maradona has pretty much failed at everything (including the aforementioned Argentina-managing) he's tried since he won a World Cup himself back in 1986, we regard this as a good decision.

Cristiano Ronaldo Wants His Son To Be A Top Footballer Just Like Him

Cristiano Ronaldo wants his son to grow up to be just like him. Whether or not that is possible will depend on a lot of factors (you know, like growing up and all that good stuff), but it seems that Ronaldo is trying to foster Cristiano Jr.’s love of the game, with out forcing him to be anything.  

"I want my son to be a player. I am a footballer and I want him to be one too," the Real Madrid star told the Chinese channel Zhejiang Satellite TV.

Superman Messi vs Batman Ronaldo: Coming To A Screen Near To You

YouTube has received thousands of visitors looking for a parody of the movie 'Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice', in which football stars Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo embody Marvel characters and unleash their fury in an unprecedented fight.

The red cape superhero, Superman, is played by the Argentine star. Meanwhile, Batman is played by the Portuguese crack. The trailer keeps the same plot as the film it parodies starring Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck.

Barack Obama's Daughters Wanted To Meet Messi. He Couldn't Swing It

Being the President of the United States has its perks. It opena a lot of doors. You can meet pretty much anyone you want. Except, as Barack Obama found out recently, Lionel Messi.

While visiting Argentina, Obama noted in a speech that his daughters had wanted to meet the reigning Ballon d'Or winner, but he couldn't make it happen. In contrast, they did get to meet Pope Francis, the leader of the Catholic Church. 

An Easter Week Resurrection: Suarez Is Finally Back With Uruguay

Easter is a special period of the year for a lot of people, regardless of what they celebrate this weekend. Some people celebrate the resurrection of Christ, some just really enjoy eating chocolate eggs, and some just want to stay in the living room and watch the countless international matches on TV.

For those who choose the latter, or even two, or all three options, here is a story to read in celebration of the Easter spirit.

Messi And The 22-Year-Old He Says Might Replace Him Are Teammates For The First Time

The world seems to be at Paulo Dybala’s feet. The 22-year-old Argentine is lighting up Serie A to the tune of 14 goals and eight assists in 29 games. That is a staggering sum considering his age, and that he is in his first year at a new club, Juventus. 

Didier Drogba Took His USL Teammates Out On His Birthday

Didier Drogba is not above playing with US players, as the Sacramento Republic (which sounds like the name of a newspaper) found out when Drogba spent 10 days training with the team. 

The Ivorian former Chelsea striker found himself training with the USL side because of his issues with playing on turf, which his team, the Montral Impact, say makes his knee swell up. Drogba missed the Impact first two games of the season due to concerns about playing on turf (he made his season debut in Saturday's 2-0 loss to FC Dallas).

Where In The World Is Zlatan Ibrahimovic Playing Next Season?

Where the hell is Zlatan Ibrahimovic playing next season? What the hell do all these Zlatan transfer rumors mean?

One thing is for certain, he is leaving PSG. The Parisian municipal government won’t pony up the dough for a larger than life size statue of Zlatan, you know the one that’s gonna replace the Eiffel Tower. So just where is he set to go?

Messi's Shot Was So Hard When It Hit A Woman She Passed Out And Turned Green

A hairy day for Barcelona that included an own goal and ended in a 2-2 draw vs Villareal turned especially bad for one woman when Lionel Messi took a shot in the 18th minute of the game. The shot, a powerful one launched from just outside the 18, flew off target and into the crowd, where it hit a supporter and apparently broke her arm.

Karim Benzema Has Been Spending Far Too Much Time In Court Lately

Karim Benzema has 20 goals for Real Madrid so far this season, but that's not what everyone has been talking about in regards to the French striker.

Instead, Benzema has mostly been in the news for various run-ins witht the law and various appearances in various courtrooms.

We thought everything was on its way to settling itself, but we were wrong. Benzema finds himself banned from the French National Team until his legal troubles sort themselves out, putting his Euro 2016 in doubt.

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