Humor

Youth soccer is slowly beginning to return in some areas of the U.S. With states having different guidelines to follow, the sport has begun to sprout after U.S. Club Soccer lifted its national suspension of activities in May. When the sport does return to your area be sure to have your kids on time to practice. If not, you may very well be on the list for the five most annoying reasons kids are late to youth soccer practice.

Remember playing soccer (or any sport) video games in the late 90s and early 2000s? The graphics weren’t all that great, but we loved them anyway. Almost every resource in the game’s software was put toward making the action on the pitch great, so the crowds and stadiums received little, if any, attention.

As LaLiga returned to action on Thursday after nearly three months because of the novel coronavirus pandemic, the broadcast seemed to make a weird homage to those old video games folks like me grew up playing.

Football fans will go to the most ridiculous lengths to support their teams. The supporters are a crucial aspect to “the beautiful game,” which is why playing in front of no fans is so odd. Polish side Slask Wroclaw thought it was playing without anyone watching, until one lone fan rose above the wall of the stadium. This super fan is No. 5 on this list of the most dedicated football fans.

Most Dedicated Football Fans

5. Elevated Platform Man

Śląsk Wrocław - miłość na całe życie

If you thought Frank Lampard’s youth revolution and a coronavirus financial hit of $3 billion would keep Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich away from the transfer market, he’s still got around $14 billion reasons to buy every Bundesliga player you’ve ever heard of.

The biggest Abramovich transfer rumor this past week was whispers of the 53-year-old purchasing Edvard Munch’s The Scream at an auction for $121 million, but that gossip has been quashed by an Abramovich spokesperson. 

In a recent interview, Arsenal and Germany goalkeeper Bernd Leno called out the Bundesliga for its monotony as Bayern Munich prepares to win an eighth straight title.

The first reaction to reading his quote is typically: "Says the guy who's in ninth place and 42 points behind Liverpool.”

Bernd Leno is bored of the Bundesliga:

People love to hate on Cristiano Ronaldo, and according to him it’s because they're jealous of his success. 

So, with that confident statement in mind, it’s only fair to ask: Did fame change Ronaldo’s play? Or is he just getting older?

We can probably debunk the getting older argument — Ronaldo crushed his recent Juventus fitness tests.

Sunday’s 2. Bundesliga encounter between promotion hopeful Stuttgart and relegation-threatened Osnabrück finished 0-0 at Mercedes-Benz Arena, and the home side had Osnabrück striker Benjamin Girth to thank for that.

In the 40th minute, Osnabrück mounted a beautiful attack down the right-hand side of the pitch. The flowing move included a scoop pass, a perfectly weighted and executed backheel flick and a no-nonsense square ball for Girth to tap into an empty net from 12 yards out.

But Girth somehow managed to steer his effort off the base of the post and wide.

Ah yes, Alexi Lalas, arguably the best redhead to play for the USMNT and one of the main voices for soccer in this country. From having some of the best hair in World Cup in history to torching the USMNT before its cataclysmic failure to qualify, Lalas has had plenty of noteworthy accomplishments in the past 50 years. This list looks at the five best Alexi Lalas moments so far.

Poland’s top flight of soccer has once again produced a moment of chaotic brilliance.

The Ekstraklasa isn’t abundantly discussed among fans — hell, a lot of people don’t even know Poland’s top flight is called the Ekstraklasa — but in Sunday’s match between league leader Legia Warsaw and Lech Poznan, the luckiest goal ever was scored. This goal deserves the eyes of all soccer fans.

It was a tense week in Minnesota. While the vast majority of our thoughts and actions were centered around peacefully protesting the death of George Floyd in police custody, it was impossible to shake the sense of apprehension that came with reports of arson, opportunistic looting, outside agitators (white supremacists? anarchists?) and suspicious unmarked vehicles tooling around town, all under the shadow of a global pandemic.