Thursday night’s MLS playoff action provided us with the perfect examples of an exhilarating 0-0 stalemate (Atlanta vs. Columbus earlier in the day) and an entirely forgettable one. The opening 90 minutes between the Houston Dynamo and Sporting Kansas City was highlighted by a relatively subdued BBVA Compass Stadium (the Astros might just be the talk of the town at the moment) booing Graham Zusi’s every touch.
There’s a little Ralph Wiggum in all of us. From the doofus who plays soccer with basketball shoes on to one of the best coaches in Europe, we can all relate to the rotund dimwit from The Simpsons from time to time. Jupp Heynckes should listen to the sage advice from one Ralph Wiggum: “My doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.”
West Ham won a game! Wooooooo.
The Hammers came back from a 2-0 deficit (most dangerous lead in soccer!) to beat Tottenham Hotspur 3-2. They are on to the next round of the Carabao Cup, which is good and cool for West Ham fans.
Defending, on the face of it, is a pretty animalistic art. Without a doubt, there are a myriad of subtleties to transform it into a fine art, but you still won’t get very far as a defender without being physical and instinctive. You’ve got to have the appetite for getting stuck in and crunching — you’ve got to mark your territory with blood, sweat and piss.
Now that all the hysteria surrounding the USMNT's final World Cup qualifiers has dissipated somewhat, it's time to look toward the future. I am referring, of course, to Christian Pulisic's tattoo game. Pulisic was photographed on the bench during the second half of the USMNT's 4-0 demolishing of Panama with a rather large eagle/American flag tattoo. It's an extremely patriotic piece of ink, the type of thing I've only regularly seen at country music festivals.
ALL HAIL ARSENE WENGER, GOD OF SUBSTITUTIONS.
ALSO, ALL HAIL EDDIE NKETIAH, WHO SCORED JUST 15 SECONDS AFTER ENTERING ARSENAL'S CARABAO CUP MATCH AGAINST NORWICH CITY TO TIE THE GAME UP, AND SCORED AGAIN IN EXTRA TIME TO WIN IT.