Funny

Get Shredded With Cristiano Ronaldo’s New Home Workout Video

During the break from football we saw Lionel Messi's cute son Ciro help him lift weights. Now, Cristiano Ronaldo is stepping it up a notch and using his own children as the weights. Watch as Ronaldo lifts his children and pray he doesn’t drop them.

Who needs fancy training equipment when you have family?

Joe Exotic Soccer King: The Ultimate Starting XI

Hey all you cool cats and kittens, Tiger King has been the talk of quarantine — it's so cringeworthy that you can’t stop watching. It's a Netflix documentary that was supposed to expose the exotic animal trade and cruel treatment, but it had way more than just cat talk. From relationships to feuds and crime to exotic animals, Tiger King has it all. 

If, for some odd reason, the cast had to be put into a football match, here's who I would name to my starting XI:

The Time Archie Thompson Destroyed A Kid Harder Than When He Scored 13 Against American Samoa

Australian striker Archie Thompson holds the record for the most goals in a single official international match when he put 13 past American Samoa on April 11, 2001. It was a brutal game for American Samoa as the game finished 31-0. That score line is a blowout even in American football. 

This blowout was a prime example of why Australia changed federations in 2006 from the Oceania Football Confederation to the Asian Football Confederation. 

10 Best TikTok Dances You Can Learn From Soccer Players

Bored in the house, in the house bored? Here are 10 TikTok dances and trends that you can kill some time with learning; even the pros have hopped on the bandwagon. 

10 Best TikTok Dances By Soccer Players

#1

Zach and Julie Ertz showed off their athletic abilities as they took on the Plank Challenge. 

Zenit Scares The Shit Out Of Malcom’s Cat With Drone-Delivered Award

Social distancing may have stopped players and club officials from meeting in person but Zenit St. Petersburg had a novel idea when it delivered their Player of the Month award using a drone.

Brazilian Malcom won nearly 30 percent of the fan vote to pick up the award for March after Zenit build a nine-point lead at the top of the Russian Premier League standings before the season was suspended due to the coronavirus pandemic.

A Letter To My Ex-Girlfriend: Football

Dear Football,

It has been nearly a month now since you left me. It felt like we were together for as long as I can remember, but suddenly you are no longer a part of my life. I write this letter to football to remind myself of all the fun times we had when we were united.

I think about you often. I remember waking up at god-awful-times in the morning just to see you. Now when I wake from my slumber on weekends I arise to an empty void without your presence. Our Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon Champions League rendezvous is a thing of the past.

Idiotic Belarusian Premier League Is Now Just Creepy

Words can’t describe how I feel about the Belarusian Premier League. Trying to play through a pandemic is one thing but putting fake fans in the stadium to boost the atmosphere is a whole new low. FC Dynamo Brest does get some creativity points for how the club carried it out, but the Belarus mannequin situation is also pretty creepy.

The Best Soccer TikTok Accounts You Need To Be Following

On the final day of 2019, The18 made the prediction that the new cringeworthy-yet-lovable social media app TikTok would be the future of soccer content. Somehow that is becoming the truth as with no sports being played soccer lovers are forced to find new ways to get their fix. If you’re new to TikTok and looking for content, here are the best TikTok soccer accounts to follow.

Orlando Pride Get Their Zoom Workout In ... 70’s Style

The Orlando Pride made the best of being quarantined by having fun with a 70’s themed Zoom workout this week.

The Pride’s strength and conditioning coach, Ivi Casagrande, led the team in a fun workout with some guest appearances from pets, family members and some 70’s workout attire (Marta’s attire was my favorite hands down). No better way to workout than with your teammates and have some fun. 

Nike’s Living Room Cup Taught The Small Of My Spine A Lesson It’ll Never Forget

If you’re like me, this past month has been so goddamn awful for your fitness that you can only refuse to acknowledge anything. Without rec soccer and the gym, I’m half-man, half-beer. 

A few days ago I forced myself out on a run after being deeply troubled by an inner voice saying my time for running was now over — everything was just too exceedingly difficult to even contemplate doing, so don’t do it. That’s my mind without exercise. It’s a real bastard.

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