England

10 Young Rising Stars Who Could Save England

For all the setbacks and empty promises of each generation of England's rising stars, the current crop of Under 21 and 19s talent is good. So good, in fact, that Gareth Southgate’s 21s took out the European Championship title in that age division – a stark contrast to the bumbling mess dished out by the first team.

The Biggest Upsets In The History Of Soccer

This has been the year of the underdog in soccer. From Leicester City in the Premier League to Wales and Iceland in Euro 2016, upsets have come to the fore. 

Soccer is the most democratic sport in the world. Once the players enter the pitch, there’s little the coach can do to upset the proceedings. The nature of the game lends itself to unpredictability — 90 minutes of continuous action where a single mistake or moment of genius can decide the game’s outcome. 

England Need A Manager, But They Need A Plan Even More

The potential is there to make the England national team job an unheralded success, just not right now.

Euro 2016 outlined emphatically how a mixture of mental fragility and poor coaching results in outlandish failure, to the point of embarrassment and humiliation on a mass scale.

Too often the discussion revolves around potential that should be realized rather than world-class performances that actually are on show at major tournaments.

Much like Spain in the 1990s, the talent at the disposal of any incoming manager should be an appealing prospect. 

WE KNOW THE PERFECT GUY TO REPLACE ROY HODGSON AS ENGLAND COACH

England are looking for a new national team manager, and word on the street* is Donald Trump is interested in the job. we've gotten hold of Trump's letter to the FA** volunteering his services. Here it is in its entirety:

DEAR FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION NERDS,

I, DONALD TRUMP, WITH MY GIANT HANDS WITH NON-SAUSAGE-ESQUE FINGERS AM GOING TO BE THE NEXT MANAGER OF THE THREE LIONS, AND WHEN I GET THE JOB WE WILL WIN SO HARD YOUR WRINKLY ENGLISH FACES WILL FALL OFF.

England Are The Dallas Cowboys Of International Football. Overhyped And Bound To Disappoint.

This past Monday marked another disappointing loss for the England National Football Team as they fell to Iceland in the round of 16 in UEFA Euro 2016.  For fans of England soccer, this is going to be a hard pill to swallow for years to come. However, when you look at the recent history of the club, it may be time to lower expectations a bit. Perhaps England's so-called "early exits" aren't as disappointing or unexpected as fans make them seem. 

The England National Team Is Too Soft, And We Know The Perfect Manager To Fix That

Noted yelling person Jamie Carragher (among others) roundly criticized the England National Team for being "too soft" after the Three Lions were sent back to their den by the likes of Iceland.

The loss was enough to make manager Roy Hodgson quit the team right then and there, leaving England in need of a coach. 

The next england manager will need to be tough. He will need to make sure they players aren't soft like Jamie Carragher (and others) says. He will need to be a bad a** mother who doesn't take nothing off of nobody.

That man is Eric Cantona.

This Harry Kane Free-Kick Compilation Will Make England Fans Very Angry

England were unceremoniously dumped out of Euro 2016 by a plucky, vastly underrated Iceland side, and now everyone in England is mad. They are mostly mad at Raheem Sterling (for no real good reason), but they are also mad at Harry Kane.

They are so mad someone made this very funny video of Harry Kane, who is a legitimately nice dude and doesn't deserve this, kicking set pieces in every direction except toward the goal.

Iceland Gave England's Euro 2016 A Viking Funeral

ICELAND.

For those of you making Game of Thrones "winter is coming" jokes, you are well intentioned — and we appreciate your intentions — but you are off base.

Winter is here, y'all.

Yes, Iceland, little Iceland, beat England, 2-1. Surely you know the statistics by now: 325,000 population, eight percent of which has shown up in France for Euro 2016.

Jamie Vardy Snubs Arsenal In Favor Of Leicester City And Loyalty

When Arsenal triggered Jamie Vardy’s £20 million release clause on June 3, it was easy to envision the beginning of the end for the Leicester City fairytale. 

They’d just won the Premier League title, something Arsenal haven’t managed for 12 years, and qualified for the 2016-17 Champions League, but surely the uncertainty surrounding Leicester’s ability to do it all again come August could’ve majorly influenced Vardy. 

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