Bloopers

25-Second Display Of Shithousery Includes Player Trying To Get Ref Sent Off

Have you ever seen Key & Peele’s “Fútbol Flop” sketch? Well, an actual match in the actual country of Argentina has made that look like an interpretive dance of the FIFA Fair Play Award. 

Here’s 25 seconds of action from Argentina’s Primera B Nacional — it’s a promotion playoff semifinal between Club Almagro and Central Córdoba. 

By my count, there’s at least seven instances (maybe more?) of shithousery here, climaxing in an Almagro player attempting to get the referee sent off.  

Jordi Alba’s Play Epitomized How Painfully Useless Barcelona Was Against Liverpool

With Mohamed Salah ruled out of Tuesday’s Liverpool-Barcelona Champions League semifinal second leg with a concussion, maybe Jordi Alba thought he was in for a beautiful stroll across the lovely confines of Anfield. Maybe, looking across at replacement Xherdan Shaqiri, he thought, “Hell yeah, I might be marginally taller than this dude.” 

Or perhaps he thought he’d simply feed it to Lionel Messi (as has been the case on three occasions in LaLiga and twice in the UCL this season) and let him do the rest. 

Miss From Leicester’s Kelechi Iheanacho Will Keep Liverpool Fans Up At Night

It’s obviously been the wildest of title races, and Monday’s meeting between Manchester City and Leicester City only intensified how preposterously frantic it’s been. The Foxes were oh-so-close to doing Liverpool the ultimate favor, but the 2015-16 champions fell short due to Vincent Kompany’s 30-yard wonder strike in the 70th minute.

Another David De Gea Howler Dooms Man United’s Champions League Quest

The stumble for fourth place in the Premier League continued apace today with Arsenal getting thrashed 3-0 by Leicester City before Manchester United and Chelsea settled for a share of the spoils at Old Trafford following a 1-1 draw.

Coming into the match on the back of three straight defeats, United started strongly with both Romelu Lukaku and Marcus Rashford looking extremely sharp in attack. The Red Devils’ deserved opener arrived in the 11th minute with the aforementioned Lukaku playing a big role.

Leeds United Allows Aston Villa To Equalize After Six Minutes Of Madness In The Championship

With the two automatic promotion places from the EFL Championship to the Premier League going to Norwich City and Sheffield United, today’s meeting between third place Leeds United and fifth place Aston Villa on the penultimate day of the season simply served as a preview of things to come in the Championship playoffs (both sides have already guaranteed their spots).

There Are Two Frankfurts In Germany And Some Benfica Fans Learned That The Hard Way

On the back of an impressive hat trick from 19-year-old phenom João Félix, Benfica is poised to advance to the semifinals of the Europa League for the first time since making it to the final in 2013-14. The club’s desperate for European success — a feeling that’s directly tied to the curse of Béla Guttmann. 

Friendly Fire: Substitute Has Eye Gouged By Teammate He’s Replacing

A substitution — unless you’re John Terry and organizing yourself a guard of honor — should be pretty straightforward. Up goes the number of the player coming off, off he goes and on comes the substitute. That’s all there is to it. No need for fuss.

Kaku Smashes Ball Into Fan’s Face From Point-Blank Range To Set Things Off In KC

Things went from bad to worse last night for the New York Red Bulls when the club allowed victory to escape its grasp by virtue of an 88th-minute Sporting Kansas City equalizer at Children’s Mercy Park, leaving the Red Bulls — last season’s Supporters’ Shield winners — with only one win from its opening six games.

To compound matters, Alejandro Romero Gamarra, better known as Kaku, was given a straight red in the fourth minute of second half stoppage time for smashing the ball into the face of an SKC supporter from point-blank range. 

PSG Denies Own Title Celebrations By Clearing Own Shot Off The Goal-Line

Following Lille’s 1-1 draw with Reims on Sunday, PSG had a chance to clinch the Ligue 1 title with seven matches remaining by defeating eighth place Strasbourg at the Parc des Princes.

With the title just a matter of time, Thomas Tuchel elected to hand starts to the likes of Colin Dagba, Leandro Paredes, Layvin Kurzawa and a forward line spearheaded by Christopher Nkunku and Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting. 

Selfie Celebration Goes Horribly Wrong For Moroccan Second Division Side

When does a celebration get out of hand, forcing the referee to whistle for a restart and allowing the team that just conceded to race down the field and score a goal of its own? It’s an unwritten rule that the euphoria which greets a goal should be given ample time to manifest itself, but who’s to say when enough’s enough?

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