Thanksgiving is here, and that means the holiday season is upon us. Here at The18, we understand that not all of our readers reside in the United States, and, accordingly, probably do not care about Thanksgiving - but that is no reason for us to pass the buck on spreading holiday cheer, or, as is more likely the case, awkward, strained, family reunion mojo. ’Tis the season.
A cornucopia, or “a horn of plenty,” is a traditional symbol of abundance and Thanksgiving, but the more we think about it, we find it as a whole to be abundantly illogical and confusing. Take a look:
Photo: @Wonderopolis | Twitter
What a terrible way to store something, much less an abundance of anything. It seems to just be a way of putting into proportion how much stuff you have…and as we write that, we now understand why it is associated with Thanksgiving.
Anyways, in honor of that abundance of, well, abundance, we give you The18’s Thanksgiving Cornucopia Of All Things Soccer. It is all the best that soccer gives us, and what we give thanks for.
Not sure what we mean? Well, Imagine the happiness, awe, and laughter of soccer, overflowing out of a wicker horn of hopelessly inadequate size. Minus, you know, an actual physical wicker horn.
Happiness
Some people call happiness the key to inner peace, we happen to agree with them.
Need note to get out of work Thurs? @J_Klinsmann has you covered. Show your cool boss. It will def work! #LetsDoThis pic.twitter.com/i2oCZmGAGZ
— U.S. Soccer (@ussoccer) June 25, 2014
In the ultimate good guy move, U.S. head coach Jurgen Klinsmann signed a permission slip for the whole nation. Allowing each and every one of us to (hopefully) watch the USMNT play in Brazil over the summer.
One of the greatest feelings in sports is watching your favorite team win a championship. The second greatest? Watching footage of other fans celebrate their favorite team winning a championship. Unless they are you rivals, in which case we are sorry.
For those of you that love your job - even if you don’t show up to work everyday like this - be thankful that you do.
Awe
Because soccer wouldn’t be the sport we all love if it didn’t make you jar drop every now and then.
This ball flies into the back of the net like a bat out of hell…like a hellfire missile…like a drunken hawk with a suicide wish…oh just watch the gif again.
Yay Toure: the class of the Premier League last season. Here’s hoping he can find his form and start scoring goals like this again.
In case if you were wondering, no, you haven’t ever seen a successful 2 on 5 counter attack before.
Laughter
Soccer can make us laugh, it can make us cry, but hopefully all it does is make us laugh.
Have you ever wondered what to do if…
… you really wanna piss-off Zlatan?
… you are really angry at the referee?
You haven’t? Well, then you would definitely be wondering about what you should do during your first ever trial with a top-flight club…
So, as you munch on ever more turkey and gobble down delicious pie after delicious pie, remember to give thanks for soccer and all that it does for all of us. Trust us, it will help you deal with your awkward uncle who never stops talking.
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