Humor

The 3 Most Astonishingly Bad Penalty Kicks Ever

A spot kick. It’s from 12 yards out. You can either place it or go for power or just close your eyes and hope. Either way, the goalkeeper is at a massive disadvantage. There’s not much more to it than that. You should try to keep it simple, stupid.

But here are three instances when, for whatever reason, the penalty taker managed to get it all horribly wrong. These are the 3 worst penalties ever taken. 

The 3 Worst Penalty Kicks Ever

The MLS All-Star Game Would Have Been Much Better If Ronaldo Had Been There

The MLS All-Star Game could have been so much better. Not that it wasn't great. Well, it actually wasn't great, now that we mention it. It was mostly forgettable soccer, various Real Madrid 19-year-olds dinking around old and slow MLS All-Stars, shooting from distance and missing.

But it could have been so much better.

For one, Cristiano Ronaldo should have been there. He wasn't there, because he is so famous he takes personal pre-season publicity tours while his teammates have to share one among themselves. Cristiano's pre-season tour was in southeast Asia.

Watch Danny Welbeck Make The Most Absurd Assists You’ll Ever See

Some players just have a gift. The ability to see a play develop before it happens. The audacity to attempt maneuvers others wouldn’t dare to try. The composure to pull off moves with the weight of the world watching. 

Danny Welbeck, as this recent highlight video shows, is one of those supremely talented footballers who just stands above the rest.

Here's What Happens When You Stand In Front Of A Roberto Carlos Free Kick

It’s not an exaggeration to say that Roberto Carlos scored the greatest free kick ever. By extension, was he the greatest free kick specialist of all-time? Absolutely not. His ability to absolutely crush the ball into a banana curve defied logic and was rumored capable of killing a cow, but his penchant for violence over accuracy meant that many dead balls reached Row Z of Real Madrid’s Santiago Bernabeu.

Watch Juan Mata Perform The Simpsons Theme On Piano

Manchester United and Spain midfielder Juan Mata is known around the world for being an orchestrator of sorts with his ability to create opportunities and maneuver magically around the field. A few days ago he was eager to show that this skill set extends beyond the pitch when a piano appeared before him.

The little maestro sat down to perform a rendition of The Simpsons Theme during some time off from preseason training.

Inter Milan Appear To Be Sleeping On Themselves

Having watched derby rivals Milan splash the cash on Leonardo Bonucci, Andre Silva and Hakan Calhanoglu among others, Inter have had to bide their time in the shadows, patiently waiting for their own moment in the sun.

The 2009-10 treble winners last tasted glory in the 2011 Coppa Italia, and now they’re just lurking, ready to unleash themselves on an unsuspecting continent. 

Much like how captain and star forward Mauro Icardi is patiently waiting for the Argentinian national team to give him a chance, Internazionale are similarly just enduring the moment.

This Video Of Children Fighting Proves It's Never Too Early To Start Practicing Hooliganism

You are never too young to learn important life skills: how to balance a checkbook, how to navigate the convoluted world of health insurance, how to win the heart of a special someone who has caught your eye, how to keep your credit score high so as to procure advantageous interest rates on mortgages, car loans and the like.

How to win a fight at a soccer match.

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