Humor

A Child Is Born: Griezmann Mbappé Is Chilean Hospital's First Baby Of 2022

Big news out of Copiapó, Chile today where the illegitimate love child of French football superstars Antoine Griezmann and Kylian Mbappé was found after being born on New Year's Day at 9:09 p.m. local time. Three Wise Men followed a star to his birthplace, bearing gifts of a large buyout clause, CR7 fragrance and baby-sized adidas Copa Mundials.

Phil Jones Plays For First Time In 707 Days; Wolves Win At Old Trafford For First Time In 42 Years

Few footballers captivate the planet like Phil Jones.

It all began back in 2013, when, at the age of 21 and having recently arrived from Blackburn, Sir Alex Ferguson said that Jones had the potential to become the greatest player in Manchester United's history, and it continued over the years as the defender smashed his face into every orifice in which a face does not belong.

What If Europe Had Bowls Like College Football? It Would Be Dumb And Look Something Like This

When not disrupted by big daddy Omicron, college football bowl season is one of the greatest times of the year. There’s something about your team playing hundreds of miles away against a random opponent with an even more random brand slapped on to the name that brings so much joy. Who doesn’t love the Dollar General Bowl?

What if this wonderful season of sport was transferred to European club soccer? We could see magnificent spectacles like this in Europe if we went through with this idea.

I'm No Expert, But I'm Pretty Sure This Goal Should've Ended The Game

The annual All Japan High School Soccer Tournament is a big deal. It's like, well, you don't really need a metaphor, do you? It's not that hard to imagine another country also enjoying youth sports. It attracts large viewership at the stadiums and on television, and I have a sneaking suspicion that among those watching are all the set-piece coaches at Europe's major clubs.

Bench Player Goes Full Zidane With First-Touch During Sunday League Game

The best moments in rec league aren't often unbelievable goals or incredible displays of skill. They're things like batshit crazy tackles that aren't even whistled, own goals scored from the top of your own area and that 24 pack of beer in the cooler.

But all the hoofing, chasing and getting blasted in the face combine to make those rare moments of technique stick out all the clearer, like a Monet in a wastewater treatment plant. 

Mario Balotelli Scores One Of The Best Goals Of His Career And Shrugs His Shoulders

It's been four days since Mario Balotelli last graced our pages after kicking a teammate in the head during a goal celebration. That's always one side to the 31-year-old striker's game, but the other is scoring outrageous goals.

The USWNT Will Raise Your GIF Game This Holiday Season With An Armada Of Fresh USWNT GIFS

Are you the kind of person who prefers to respond to emails and texts with GIFs instead of having to type something out? Do you also love the USWNT? If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, then you or a loved one may be entitled to a plethora of new USWNT GIFs.

As a sendoff for 2021, the USWNT social team decided to do its version of Spotify Wrapped in GIF form. You might want to put a few of these in your back pocket for a rainy day.

The USWNT released 18 total GIFs for your viewing pleasure. The18 (see what I did there?) USWNT GIFs are as follows.

The Official Name Of The Joint 2026 World Cup Is Lame And Mundane; Here Are 5 Better Names

The “UNITED 2026” name for the 2026 World Cup doesn’t hit home for me personally. The United States, Canada and Mexico will become the first countries to be part of a three-host World Cup and will unfortunately have a subpar name for the tournament.

Before jumping into my revolutionary alternate names for UNITED 2026, let’s quickly remind ourselves where the games will be played. The host cities for the 2026 World Cup will be announced at some point next year as the excitement grows.

Jules Koundé Earns Straight Red Card For Smashing Jordi Alba In The Face

Over the last five seasons in LaLiga, Sevilla has finished fourth three times — including last campaign with a club-record total of 77 points — without ever looking like a genuine title challenger. 

Heading into Tuesday's clash with struggling Barcelona at the Ramón Sánchez Pizjuán in Seville — where a win would cut Real Madrid's lead at the top to just three points — the club still refused to consider the possibility of a first LaLiga title since 1946. 

Mario Balotelli Celebrates Teammate’s Goal By Kicking Him In The Head

Adana Demirspor extended Galatasaray’s Süper Lig misery with a 2-0 win on Tuesday through two goals from Galatasaray loanee Yunus Akgün. Though Akgün refused to celebrate either of his goals out of respect to his parent club — no easy feat given his second strike — that didn’t stop Mario Balotelli choosing an odd way to celebrate.

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