Humor

When the United States began their Gold Cup campaign last Saturday I was in a bar. I was there to watch this game, but somewhere around the 30th minute I started to drift. I was like a pass from the American midfield — serenely floating here and there without any purpose or sense of direction.

Dom Dwyer’s opening goal sent the bartender on a rambling ode to Sydney Leroux that lasted until tonight’s match against Nicaragua, a week-long sonnet on unrealized love. 

Landon Donovan posted a video of his son Talon scoring a goal in his backyard, and little Talon looks like he's on the fast track to the USMNT. His dad posted the caption, "He's going to kill me for this when he gets older. Oh well."

Twitter loves large adult sons: big goofy dudes who run around and make a ruckus with startling athleticism. What does this have to do with soccer? Well, soccer is rapidly growing in the United States, but it would be growing even faster if it had a large adult son to piggyback on.

After a long season that ended with a Europa League title, Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba needed some time to decompress and celebrate after playing 51 matches for his club. He certainly did just that.

Take a look at Pogba's unforgettable Summer '17.

Pogba kicked off May with a pilgrimage to Mecca, the holiest and most important site in the world for Muslims like himself. 

There are a lot of bad commercials which make it on TV. Sometimes, though, a commercial is so bad it becomes good, like life found poetry. 

Soccer Genomics is a company that will test your genes for various soccer-related traits and convey that information back to you so you can make judgments. Soccer Genomics encourages parents to do this for their children because presumably they are insane and think a lot of parents are insane too.

This is an extremely bad commercial. It is also an extremely good commercial.