Humor

Cristiano Ronaldo Finally Has A Statue That Isn't Hilarious

You may remember previous iterations of Cristiano Ronaldo statues, including but not necessarily limited to the one that's really happy to see you and the one that may or may not be Frankenstein's monster. For all Cristiano's charms, he just can't seem to catch a break as far as getting a statue that actually looks like him. Until now.

Here Comes A Monkey With The Match Ball

A macaque monkey (fun fact: the most widespread primate genus aside from humans) delivered the match ball in a Japanese J-League match over the weekend while threaded out in full Cerezo Osaka kit. The monkey attempted a brief session of free styling before picking up the football and delivering it to the referee.

It’s not as riveting as War for the Planet of the Apes, but you do get the feeling that an evolved chimpanzee like Caesar would absolutely hate something like this.

Sigurdsson Goal Hits So Much Woodwork Ron Swanson Would Be Proud

This Gylfi Sigurdsson goal is so fun to watch, it almost makes up for the fact that Southampton proceeded to bludgeon Everton 4-1 on Sunday– scoring three goals in the second half after this Sigurdsson stunner gave the Toffees a glimmer of hope.

Andy Carroll’s Newborn, Wolf Nine Carroll, Could Have The Greatest Terrace Song Ever

Here at The18, I’m in charge of the children. I keep tabs on all the babies, I have baby skills — why can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!

Roberto Firmino Is The Most Disrespectful Player In The Game

Roberto Firmino will pull your pants down, pull them back up and then pull them back down again and laugh at you.

New Zealand Is Really Taking This World Cup Exit Hard

On Wednesday, New Zealand capitulated in their quest for the World Cup, losing 2-0 to Peru after a scoreless first leg. Peru, obviously was ecstatic, declaring the following day a national holiday. New Zealand, on the other hand, has taken the loss pretty hard, if this alarming item from the New Zealand Herald is any indication:

Ebbsfleet United Just Made Mambo Number 5

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo number five.

Why Loris Karius Should Be People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive Instead Of Blake Shelton

Surely you have seen the news by now. Everyone who's anyone has seen the news: Blake Shelton has been named "Sexiest Man Alive" by People Magazine. Many people have rightly noted that Shelton is and was a stupid choice, and I am here to offer up an alternative: Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius.

Pages