Much of the discourse currently surrounding Arsenal revolves around whether superstar Chilean attacker Alexis Sanchez will still be there at the end of January. We can say two things about Sanchez with a reasonable amount of certainty: he is Arsenal's best player by some distance, and he cares deeply about playing for his country.
That is why it's probably a bad idea to send tweets like this:
Breaking news from The Eighteen Dot Com: Marek Hamsik is in the Illuminati. There is simply no other way to explain this confluence of events from Friday. How else do you rationalize No. 17 scoring in the 17th minute for his 117th goal with Napoli in the final game of 2017, all while wearing a patch with Hamsik’s face and the No. 17 on it?
Marek Hamsik, the Slovakian midfielder who has played for Napoli in the Serie A for a decade, was honored during the match by his Italian club, which wore patches to honor him as the club’s all-time leading scorer.
For a corner kick to be taken, the ball must be placed withing the confines of the corner arc. Otherwise, chaos will ensue. Gravity will cease to exist. Everyone will float around everywhere, bumping into stuff chaotically because they have no control over anything. All the colors will turn negative. Vegetables will begin eating people. Bears will begin speaking human languages, but only ancient Greek for some reason. It will be OK to use your cell phone on an airplane.
The world will be an M. Night Shyamalan movie, basically.
As we near the end of 2017, few American soccer fans will look back on the year with any sort of fondness after the USMNT failed to qualify for the World Cup. Same for Dutch, Italian and Chilean fans, plus anyone who as ever rooted for Sunderland. So instead of focusing on 2017, let’s turn our attention to how much 2018 will suck. Here are 18 horrible 2018 soccer predictions.
Today we answered a very important question in the world of football: which is more difficult, beating Crystal Palace or zippering a coat?
Zippering, clearly.
the jacket zipper strikes again... pic.twitter.com/OQbmn4azzK
— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) December 28, 2017
Do not let Borussia DOrtmund attacker Shinji Kagawa babysit your children. Not because of anything weird, but necause Kagawa will spend the whole night nutmegging your children until they are teary balls of sadness.
Watch Kagawa mercilessly nutmeg this small child until the child has simply had enough and bursts into tears.
As an early Christmas present, we here at The18 are delighted to bring you, the readers, the content consumers, this video of a man in a soccer jersey (best guess here is Manchester United) attempting to slide down the area in between escalators for reasons known only to him.
Reader, he did not have a safe and fun journey.
Top night last night, but this has to be the highlight pic.twitter.com/yMqDvOoVML
It is once again time for those hipsters over at The Guardian to release their list of the top 100 footballers in the world, which means it is once again time for us here at The18 to release OUR list of 100 footballers. Whereas The Guardian undoubtedly used science and metrics and judges of soccer talent to decide on their list, we just named some pla