Andrea Pirlo, one of the most interesting men in the world, has had a cookout. We know this because he posted a picture of it on social media, and we are sad. Not sad that he had a cookout, but sad that we weren't invited.
(Side note: this is not a barbeque. This is a cookout. There is no "BBQ" that we can see. End of side note.)
The f***, man? Where was our invite?
It probably got lost in the mail or something. Or the mailman kept it for himself then went to the cookout himself and hung around with Andrea Pirlo.
Also, who knew Andrea Pirlo has cookouts? We thought Pirlo eats all his meals in dimly-lit five-star restaurants after being delivered by tall, gaunt men wearing tuxedoes. He's really changing the narrative here. Sure, the picture could be staged, but we kind of doubt he would go through all that trouble.
We wish we could have gone to Pirlo's cookout. We couldn't, though, so we will add this to the already long and growing list of things we will never be able to do in our lives and then we will be depressed.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
