Zlatan

Zlatan's New Statue Looks Like A Video Game Boss

Picture it: you're playing some kind of first person video game. You're almost done. The last level is situated in an industrial complex, but you're not sure what kind. The end of the level is through a big garage door. The final boss lies in wait. This is it. This is the moment. You push the button to open the door. A whooshing sound, then the door begins to creak open. Steam pours out of the opening. You strain your eyes to get a glimpse of what you're about to face. Finally, it comes into focus.

LOOK OUT IT'S ZLATAN!

Zlatan Is Bringing His Clothing Brand To Los Angeles

Zlatan is without a team. For now. 

Fortunately, he has other things to keep him occupied, like rehabbing his knee and overseeing various business ventures. One such venture is his clothing brand, which is moving to Los Angeles.

Manchester United Have Released Zlatan

The good news is this move makes Manchester United once again much easier to hate. That's right, Zlatan is gone, banished from Manchester United after 42 appearances, 28 goals and one horrible knee injury.

Obviously Zlatan is going to come back. He is Zlatan, after all. The question is where, and that is a question for another day. Today, we must wrap our heads around the fact that we actually kind of liked Manchester United for a bit there, when they had Zlatan and Pogba doing Zlatan things and Pogba things.

Which Soccer Players Would Form the Best Basketball Starting 5?

During the NBA playoffs, we've been asking ourselves which soccer players would come together to form the best starting five. It seems soccer players love shooting around, with a few possessing a little more talent on the court than you might expect. Here's our starting five:

C - Zlatan Ibrahimović  

Watching David Beckham Provide Outrageous Assists For Various Legends Is A Good Time

When you limit your playing career to Manchester United, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy, Milan and Paris Saint-Germain (and represent the English national team for 14 years), you're inevitably going to play alongside some of the world's best players. What's more, if you're a really great passer of the ball, which David Beckham was, you're going to provide a few classy assists for that talent.

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot

Stockholm

(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

Zlatan Is In The U.S. To Meet With A Renowned Orthopedic Surgeon

Less than a week after suffering a torn ACL and possible damage to his PCL, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is scheduled to visit Dr. Freddie Fu at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Dr. Fu is well known for pioneering the double bundle technique to repair ACL tears, the method that most effectively restores natural knee movement patterns.

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