WTF

Harvard Suspends Men’s Soccer After Vile Rankings Of Women’s Team Are Revealed

The Harvard men’s soccer team has been suspended for the remainder of the season by the University following an investigation over an appalling "scouting report" that ranked women’s team players.

Didier Drogba Quits On Montreal, On MLS

Though Montreal Impact coach Mauro Biello has yet to admit it, Didier Drogba has turned his back on his teammates. After losing his starting role to newcomer Matteo Mancosu, the former Chelsea star has only managed 10 goals in 22 games this season, Drogba only played in four of the team’s final seven games; starting two and coming off the bench in two more.

English-Speaking Keeper Suffers Concussion-Induced Coma, Wakes Up Fluent In Spanish

16-year-old high school goalkeeper Reuben Nsemoh underwent a terrifying ordeal as a result of a concussion he suffered while playing soccer.

The sophomore ended up in a coma after being kicked in the head during a game. Check out the footage below.

 

South African Footballer Reportedly Dropped After Farting At Coach

In a completely unsubstantiated but hilarious occurrence, we’ve caught wind of a recent development regarding South African international striker Tokelo Rantie. 

Fenerbahce Plane Makes Emergency Landing After Bird Hits Windshield

Fenerbahce's Europa League trip to Manchester took an interesting turn when the team's plane hit a bird and had to land in Budapest, Hungary.

The team, which features former Premier-Leaguers Robin van Persie and Martin Skrtel, posted this on Twitter:

Matchday Chef Fired For Food Poisoning Plot

A matchday chef for Bristol Rovers vs. Gillingham this weekend learned the hard way that you should watch what you post on Facebook.

The chef, an admitted Bristol City fan, posted this gem (apparently deleted) on Facebook:

At work.. think am going to poison the whole lot of rovers fan today.. can’t be bothered to cook everything is going to be undercooked today.. how many people going to have the shits … Best news is am in the away end.. so no looking a inbreed (redacted) here the view I got for the next 7 hours…

Female Official Reportedly Attacked In Men’s Fourth Division Game

Mariga Eugenia Rocca, a female assistant referee whose experience includes multiple Olympic Games and Women’s World Cups, has reported being struck in the back of the neck by a player while officiating a men’s fourth division game in Argentina.

The Argentina Referee Association is backing Rocca’s claims and has submitted a report to the Argentina Football Association for their review.

Anderson Knocks Out Teammate With One-Two Punch In Training Brawl

Two years ago, Brazilian midfielder Anderson was at the end of his Manchester United career after being frozen out under manager Louis van Gaal. Oddly, Anderson had managed to stay on the Old Trafford books for over seven seasons without ever particularly impressing. He’s a four-time Premier League champion and winner of the 2007-08 UEFA Champions League with United, but he’s still widely regarded as a flop having arrived from Porto for €30 million in 2007.

Two Players Combust Into Hellfire After Achieving A Disgraceful Double Flop

One of the major developments in the world of football over the past week has been the deployment of the “green card” in Italy’s Serie B to reward players for acts of virtue, including admitting to having taken a dive in order to win a penalty or free kick.

Soccer Coach Fired After Wearing Clown Mask To Practice

We were all freaked out after hearing about people dressing up as clowns in their neighborhoods. Then, everyone’s worst nightmare got ten times worse after the news broke about clowns kidnapping children and bringing them into the woods. Halloween might be around the corner, but people are still strongly against clowns and the latest “creepy clown craze.” Let's hope that everyone avoids the clown costumes for this year's upcoming holiday…

Pages