Women's Soccer

For the United States Soccer Federation, it’s seemingly a case of enough finally being enough. Following Hope Solo’s infamous declaration that Sweden were a “bunch of cowards” after their victory over the U.S., America’s governing body has handed Solo a six month suspension and terminated her contract with the women’s national team. 

After watching Portugal capture Euro 2016 by winning only a single match in regular time, the fear here was that we were about to witness more of the same on the women’s side of the game. Sweden had ridden their luck to the gold medal match on the strength of two penalty shootout victories.

Against Germany, they came undone. The first forty-five minutes appeared to give strength to the notion that Sweden were destined to win gold, but Germany simply blew them away in the second half. A 67th minute Sweden goal wasn’t enough to overturn the lead Germany had built.  

Brazil absolutely dominated Sweden during their Olympic semi-final match on Tuesday. The final statistics show that Brazil had 67% of possession and nine shots on goal compared to Sweden’s two. However, Sweden rode their luck to a second consecutive penalty shootout victory following their similar upset of the USWNT.

Sweden does it again!

When Canada advanced to the quarter-finals of the 2015 Women’s World Cup, it was tempting to put their success down to the benefits of hosting the tournament and the individual brilliance of Kadeisha Buchanan and Christine Sinclair.

They’ve since put those notions to bed by advancing to the bronze medal match of the 2016 Rio Games. In their defiant 2-0 defeat to Germany in the semi-finals, they exemplified the strength of football as a sport of meritocracy — where, on any given day, the footballing superpowers of the world can be defeated by the long shot.

We've already covered many of the terrible things that have gone on before and during the Olympics, but here's a refresher: the Zika virus, deadly bacteria in the water, the police and fire departments can't protect anybody, everything is dirty, the diving pool turned green, it's really hot, a camera fell on some people, the Olympic Village is unfit for human habitation and the Sweden Women's National Team is making soccer unwatchable.

Neymar and Brazil's men have been so bad in the Olympics that Neymar has reportedly been stripped of the Brazil captainship. Fortunately, Marta and Brazil's women are here to save the day, so much so that fans have started turning Neymar jerseys into Marta jerseys.