The Man They Call Harry Potter Turns 36 Today; Never Was A Nickname More Deserved

Today marks the 36th birthday of Trivela King Ricardo Quaresma. Am I using the date as an excuse to watch Quaresma highlights before subsequently sharing them with you? Absolutely.

I believe that no player represents the gulf between professional footballers and amateurs better than the Portuguese wizard.

Liverpool’s Use Of The Backheel Proves Too Much For Pulisic-Less Chelsea

Maybe Jürgen Klopp saw something on film, but I doubt it. I think Liverpool simply exploited the almighty power of the backheel on a whimsy, as is befitting of the European champions. Klopp’s prematch team talk probably went something like this (sung to the tune of Men at Work):   

We can backheel if we want to, we can leave England behind

Cause Man United don’t backheel and Chelsea don’t backheel

And they’re no friends of mine

Two Guys Rage Quit In Brazil After Getting Diced On An Incredible Goal

Last night in Porto Alegre, Athletico Paranaense captured the 2019 Copa do Brasil with a 3-1 aggregate victory over Paolo Guerrero’s Internacional. After winning the first leg 1-0 in Curitiba, Athletico-PR captured its first-ever Copa by seeing things through at Inter’s home stadium.

If You’ve Never Seen A Game-Winning Rabona Before, Now’s Your Chance

If I asked you to name the current leading scorer in Euro 2020 qualifying, who would you go with? Harry Kane? Cristiano Ronaldo? Kane is joint-second with six goals and Ronaldo has five to his name, so those aren’t bad guesses, but it's actually Israel’s Eran Zahavi. 

The 32-year-old Zahavi isn’t exactly a household name — at least outside of Israel and China. The only time he's spent playing outside those two countries was a brief spell with Palermo, where he scored only two goals in 23 Serie A appearances. 

Portugal Wins Euro Beach Soccer League To Unify Every Major European Title

With a 4-2 victory over Russia on Sunday, Portugal captured a record sixth Euro Beach Soccer League championship. Incredibly, Europe’s 16th most-populated country has now unified all four male UEFA titles after winning Euro 2016, the 2018-19 Nations League, UEFA Futsal Euro 2018 and now the beach soccer crown. 

This Dude Is Crazy. He Wears A Cristiano Ronaldo Half-And-Half Jersey

What you’re about to witness is the rise of Wipeout’s chosen one. God made one mistake when creating this man, and that was forgetting to put two Big Red Balls at the end of his legs.  

Look at the balance, the little scooty motions and the flips! It’s easy to see why it’s a viral sensation. 

18-Yard Overhead Kick Is Unlike Any You’ve Ever Seen Before

We roughly know what to expect when encountering an overhead kick. We've become desensitized thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale.

What makes this banger from Flamengo’s Giorgian De Arrascaeta so wonderful is that it largely disrupts those notions on its way to a higher, more transcendent form of bicycle. 

PSG Attacker Uses Zidane Turn To Beat 5 Defenders Before Filthy Goal

Is there such a thing as a disastrous 4-0 victory? There is if you’re Paris Saint-Germain and you’re beating down on Ligue 1 opponents while waiting for the Champions League group stage to begin.

PSG laid waste to Toulouse yesterday at the Parc des Princes thanks to a brace from Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting, a Mathieu Goncalves own goal and a towering header from Marquinhos, but the main story was the injuries suffered by star attackers Edinson Cavani and Kylian Mbappé.

Weekend Of Bangers Continues With Scorpion Kick Goal In Sweden

Swedish Allsvenskan-leading Malmö FF stumbled to a 1-1 draw with IK Sirius at Swedbank Stadion today, but the draw keeps Malmö two points clear of AIK at the top of the table. Philip Haglund had given Sirius the lead in the 26th minute, but Malmö equalized in the 38th through Danish international Anders Christiansen.

MLS Is Bringing Back The All-Star Skills Challenge, Ft. Soccer’s Version Of The Slam Dunk Contest

On Wednesday, July 31, the only friendly worth watching takes place at Orlando City Stadium in Florida — it’s the 2019 MLS All-Star Game, pitting the best of MLS against Spanish giant Atlético Madrid. What’s flying under the radar is that one day before the big game, there’s going to be an All-Star Skills Challenge. 

This used to be a regular feature of MLS All-Star weekend, but for some reason I’ll never understand, they put an end to it. Here’s a brief recap.