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Ignacio “Nacho” Scocco scored perhaps the best goal of 2018 on Saturday during River Plate’s Argentine Primera Division match against Olimpo. Scocco scored a brace, leading Los Millonarios to a 2-0 victory, but the lasting memory will be this sensational solo effort, calling to mind the likes of international compatriots Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona.

The play-by-play from the commentator is absolutely sensational as well, it must be said. Scocco’s surname really lends itself to the ol' goooooooool call.

Paris Saint-Germain had an extremely eventful time advancing to the final of the Coupe de la Ligue today, jumping out to a 3-0 lead before the hour mark with goals from Thomas Meunier, Marquinhos and Giovani Lo Celso. Meunier’s goal (see above) was an absolute banger.

However, Kylian Mbappe was given a straight red in the 63rd minute for a malicious scythe down the back of a Rennes player’s leg. The man advantage for the Red and Blacks led to goals in the 85th and 92nd minutes, but PSG held on for a 3-2 victory.

That is Feyenoord and Utrecht trying their best in the Eredivisie. Lest you think this was just a Sunday League kickabout, Robin van Persie appeared in this game.

Pep Guardiola watched that video and this is what happened:

Yes, upon seeing that, Guardiola's face melted. Then, he gathered the face sludge in his hand and mashed it back onto his skull in a close-enough approximation of his original face. Then he skittered off somewhere.

Monday Osagie, a center back for Churchill Brothers in the Indian I-League, scored from just inside the halfway line to open the scoring against Shillong Lajong on Friday. It was the least impressive goal from midfield you’ll ever see.