Spain

Dani Carvajal Tried To Game The System And Got Caught

Real Madrid defender Dani Carvajal thought he was being clever. In the waning moments of a 6-0 victory over APOEL on Nov. 21, Carvajal decided to hold the ball instead of throwing it back into play. The referee didn’t like this time wasting and showed him a yellow card. It was Carvajal’s fifth yellow of the Champions League campaign, meaning he would be suspended for the Borussia Dortmund match, but he would be available for the knockout rounds, for which Real Madrid had already qualified. 

According To Dad, Thiago Messi “Is A Phenomenon,” Mateo “A Son Of A Bitch”

We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.  

The Full Results Of The 2018 FIFA World Cup Draw

The World Cup draw was completed this morning at the State Kremlin Palace in Moscow with the 32 finalist nations placed into eight groups of four. The 2018 FIFA World Cup will kick off on June 14 at Luzhniki Stadium with a match featuring host-side Russia and Saudi Arabia. We now know the makeup of the entire field for the competition as well as the group stage matches that'll captivate the planet next summer. Here are the full results from the 2018 FIFA World Cup draw. 

Santi Cazorla Is In A World Of Darkness

Santi Cazorla is surrounded by darkness. He cannot escape the despair. The omnipresent smile has been replaced by a pained expression, beseeching the soccer gods to bestow upon him a healthy foot. The saga of the never-ending Santi Cazorla injury continued Wednesday when the Arsenal midfielder announced he underwent a ninth surgery in 13 months on his right foot.  

Cazorla’s announcement came via Twitter with a telling photo: the Spaniard, hands clasped as if in prayer, looking to the heavens while blackness surrounds from above and below. 

Sublime Assist From Gareth Bale Overshadowed By Keylor Navas Blunder

Gareth Bale made his return from another injury layoff with an exquisite assist for Real Madrid, but goalkeeper Keylor Navas’ ricocheted blunder may have overshadowed Bale’s attempted heroics. Real Madrid drew 2-2 against Fuenlabrada in the second leg of their Copa del Rey Round of 32 match on Tuesday, advancing 4-2 on aggregate as the club’s (relative) struggles continued this season.

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