Skills

15 Savage Nutmegs That Broke The Internet And Ended Once-Promising Careers

During Racing Club’s 5-0 defeat of Patronato in the Argentine Primera Division on Sunday, 20-year-old forward Lautaro Martinez — who just received his first Argentina call-up and is reportedly being heavily courted by both Borussia Dortmund and Inter Milan — provided the play of the weekend with just two delicate touches of the ball. 

His intricate little tippy tap sent the ball through the legs of the defender, ending his life and sending his soul down the river Styx. 

Luka Modric Pulls Off A Savage, Career-Ending Double Nutmeg

Oh baby. It’s that time of year again. Nearly seven weeks after a Copa del Rey exit put manager Zinedine Zidane’s position on the brink, Real Madrid has since gone 9-1-1 while elevating itself back to the position of Champions League favorite following a 5-2 aggregate humbling of PSG. 

Over that period, Cristiano Ronaldo has recorded 15 goals and two assists in nine starts, including a brace against Eibar on Saturday. 

How To Do An Elastico Pass Like Willian

Willian did something truly outrageous in the FA Cup against Hull City last week: an elastico pass to Cesc Fabregas.

This move looks damn near impossible for humans who aren't full Brazil internationals playing for one of the biggest clubs in the world, but, though practice, it can be achieved in five easy steps:

Spurs See The Benefit Of Fielding A Brazilian International Against A Third Division Side

If not for Brazilian international Lucas Moura — making his first start for Tottenham following a January transfer from PSG — Spurs would’ve been knocked out of the FA Cup by third-tier side Rochdale on Sunday. There were the late dramatics of Dele Alli winning a penalty and Harry Kane converting from the spot, only for Rochdale to deservedly earn a Wembley replay with a 92nd minute equalizer, but Lucas was the only real positive for Tottenham on the day.

Neymar Could Learn A Thing Or Two From This Absurd Marcos Acuña Assist

Neymar, the world’s most expensive footballer, had a match to forget as his PSG squad lost to Real Madrid on Wednesday. He was widely mocked for not showing up in his biggest match of the season after his big money move to Paris, while Cristiano Ronaldo stole the show.

Ricardo Pereira Juked A Defender So Bad It Looked Like He'd Been Shot

Fabio Coentrao was probably having a nice day Wednesday. The Sporting left back (on loan from Real Madrid) was outside, running around on the grass, playing soccer against Porto in the first leg of the Taca da Liga semifinals.

Then, Porto's Ricardo Pereira turned on the gravity and Coentrao's day went from good to extremely bad. Pereira got the ball on the right wing and burst into space with Coentrao in hot pursuit. Then Pereira hit the brakes and a big chunk of gravity whumped into Coentrao, who hit the deck. 

Samuel Umtiti Turns Defense Into Attack With Absurd Interception-Turned-Backheel

The narrative of FC Barcelona always highlights their attack, and we all know the reason for that (Paulinho). But this season, Barcelona boast the joint-best defense in La Liga with only nine goals conceded after 20 matches (0.45 per game). The impressive nature of the balance they’ve struck is demonstrated by the fact that they’ve scored 28 more goals than their defensive rivals, Atletico Madrid (57 bulges of the ol’ onion bag versus 29).

Dimitri Payet Injures Keeper With Filthy Piece Of Skill On Way To Goal

In September, the impossibly talented French attacker Dimitri Payet proudly confirmed that he is, in fact, a massive "dickhead:" “It’s one of my specialties,” he said. “It’s a little game. When I want to piss everyone off, I do it.” 

Roller Blade Nutmeg Video Is Beautiful And Hilarious

I have no context to give you for this video, but I believe no context is necessary. There is no context that could possibly add anything to how great this video already is, is what I'm saying. OK, I'll shut up. Watch the video.

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