Records

Francesco Totti appeared in his seven millionth Serie A match for AS Roma on Sunday, failing to add to his total of 1,306,478 goals for the club but appearing for a 25th successive calendar year — a streak that first began in 218 BC when Totti helped defend Rome from the invading Carthaginian army led by Hannibal.

Over the course of the streak, Totti has helped Rome gain dominance over the Western Mediterranean, assist Caesar in his conquest of Gaul, witness the collapse of the Western Roman Empire and win the 2008 Coppa Italia.

Carli Lloyd had quite the year before adding another international award to her name. Early in 2016, Lloyd released her autobiography When Nobody Was Watching: My Hard-Fought Journey To The Top Of The Soccer World. It was a book that reflected on her family falling-out as well as the struggles and sacrifices she encountered as she rose to the top. 

Crystal Dunn, Tobin Heath, Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan, and Becky Sauerbrunn were all nominees for 2016 Female Player of the Year. Tobin Heath beat out all of her USWNT teammates and took home the title.

MLS is perpetually trying to prove itself by signing star players, battling other American sports for media coverage and comparing itself against leagues around the world that've been around since the turn of the 20th century. This year’s MLS Cup brought together a near perfect matchup on paper, and the television numbers responded accordingly. 

The school of Barcelona detests the characterization of tiki-taka when discussing their style of play, so let’s just say that Barca passed the s*** out of Gladbach when the two teams met on Tuesday in the Champions League.

One of the reasons that this conception of zonal play is met with such derision from the likes of Pep Guardiola and Luis Enrique is the fact that it denotes an attack devoid of entertainment and sterile in the extreme.

Goalkeepers are odd. Anyone who’s ever been forced into the position by a lack of numbers can attest that it is a lonely, nerve-racking experience back there, but that’s the life they chose. 

Individual awards have an extreme preference for goal scorers, and a goalkeeper has only ever been awarded the Ballon d’Or on a single occasion — that being Lev Yashin in 1963. 

However, these goalkeeping records show the remarkable achievements that the position has contributed to the game.

You might be angry with the headline, but it’s the truth. It’s not click bait, a click bait article, by definition, doesn’t give you the information promised in the headline. Theo Walcott, as now certified by the Guinness Book of Records, has better control than Lionel Messi. It's the truth, I mean, if you can’t trust the Guinness Book of Records, who can you trust?  

So it’s a subjective form of control, and by subjective I mean it’s based off of who can control a ball dropped from a ridiculous altitude, but it’s a form of control no less.

World Soccer magazine, established in 1960, has been handing out their Player of the Year award since 1982, establishing itself as one of the most well-respected accolades in the game. Since 2005, the winner of the World Soccer Player of the Year has subsequently been named the Ballon d’Or recipient. 

The record for the fastest red card ever in soccer is somewhat dubious: is it limited to professionals? What about amateur leagues? Does the player actually have to play a second before being sent off? These are the kinds of ridiculous variables you must factor into determining the fastest red card ever in soccer.

According to the Guardian, there have been a number of instances when substitutes have been sent off without having ever played a second in the match.