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Our Christian Pulisic Hype Meter Is Threatening To Off Itself

Hey, so this is going well, don’t you think? To be honest, it's really going too well. Our Pulisic-O-Meter wasn't designed well enough to withstand this breakneck pace of USMNT wins in the Bundesliga. 

After scoring against Bayern Munich in the German Super Cup to jump-start his 2017-18 season, Christian Pulisic opened his league campaign with a goal and an assist against Wolfsburg on Saturday.

If Neymar Wanted To Win The Puskas, He Came To The Right Place

While we don’t know if Neymar will some day win the Ballon d’Or with Paris Saint-Germain, we can say with confidence that he’s dramatically increased his chances of winning the FIFA Puskas Award by joining the Ligue 1 side.

PSG scored six goals against Toulouse on Sunday, and they were all pretty exceptional.

Javier Mascherano’s Patented Anus-Tearing Tackle Sparks Barcelona Victory

With Ousmane Dembele’s transfer opera turning sour and Luis Suarez out for up to five weeks with a knee injury, Barcelona opened their La Liga campaign on Sunday with Lionel Messi shouldering the burden of his side’s attacking ambition.

But the play of the day wasn’t provided by Messi, it was provided by the only Argentinian teammate he can rely on, Javier Mascherano. 

Let's Be Honest, Christian Pulisic's Goal Celebration Could Use Some Work

Christian Pulisic may be The Truth, but someone needs to tell him the truth about his goal celebration. We can’t figure out what the hell he’s doing. Maybe someone else can, but we can't.

Before you get bent out of shape and start screaming at us, accusing us of being un-American, hold your horses. We know Christian Pulisic is great. We're with you. He's certainly one of the top American soccer players of all time. There's a chance he's the best American ever. Like, better than Abe Lincoln. Seriously, we feel you, @FearTheWall.

Antonio Conte Is Going To Have Diego Costa Assassinated

I have already discussed the notion that Chelsea manager Antonio Conte is a hit man, and soon the whole world might get the proof it needs to accept this idea.

Here's Conte when asked about striker Diego Costa, who is currently pining as hard as he can for a move to Atletico Madrid, so much so that instead of flying from Brazil to Chelsea to report for training like he was told, he got on a plane to Madrid instead.

Liverpool REJECT Latest Barcelona BID For Philippe COUTINHO

Liverpool have reportedly rejected a massive bid from Barcelona for WANTAWAY Brazilian  midfielder Philippe Coutinho.

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The bid reportedly amounted to $141 million, including add-ons.

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This is the third bid Liverpool have rejected for the little Brazilian.

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Coutinho reportedly submitted a transfer request via email just before the start of the Premier League season.

(check out these pictures of WAGs)

The Bundesliga Is Your Year-Long World Cup Primer

The English Premier League, La Liga and Liga MX may be more popular in America than the Bundesliga, but the German league deserves your attention, this year more than ever. The Bundesliga is essentially a year-long World Cup primer.

The Bundesliga features everything that will decide the 2018 World Cup in Russia. If you want the knowledge to impress your friends when the rest of them decide to pay attention to soccer next summer, follow the Bundesliga this season.

Here’s what you should know about the 2017-18 Bundesliga season and, by extension, the 2018 World Cup. 

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Zany Video Game Lives Up To His Name

All footballers aspire to see their likeness in the FIFA videogame. The best aspire to be on the cover of FIFA. The Zlatan aspires to make his own damn game. 

Zlatan Legends, developed by Isbit Games, was released Thursday on the Apple App Store worldwide to critical acclaim — well, acclaim. Created in the likeness of legendary Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the game has you kick a ball around a course as fast as you can. 

Essentially it’s a soccer/racing game/endless runner hybrid with an intergalactic space milieu. If that’s not Zlatan, I don’t know what is. 

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