Jose Mourinho

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Will Reportedly Join MLS This Week

For the last two months, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has reportedly been on the verge of joining Major League Soccer. For the last two months, he has not. However, with less than four months remaining on his Manchester United contract and with Jose Mourinho more than obliging with regards to letting the Swede go, it’s only a matter of time until we see Ibrahimovic in MLS (the Los Angeles Galaxy being the ultimate destination).

Boring, Boring Man United As The Reds Go Marching Out, Out, Out

On Tuesday, Manchester United were scraped off the Champions League roster the same way a disgruntled toddler tosses away an old, broken toy: with no remorse. The toy, like the Red Devils, deserved it. The toddler, you wonder? Jose Mourinho.

Like A Crab Ripping Its Own Arm Off, Man Utd Aggressively Attacked It’s Own Uselessness After UCL Exit

When you’re the most valuable club on the planet ($3.69 billion), the most popular (659 million followers) and the most successful in English history (42 major tro

Mourinho Gets Outcoached, Man U’s Midfield Outclassed In Stunning UCL Defeat

Consider it karma for Jose Mourinho. The Special One used boring tactics to beat Liverpool on Saturday and tried similarly cynical tactics on Tuesday for Manchester United vs Sevilla. This time, the result was a stunning 2-1 defeat, the Red Devils going out in the Champions League Round of 16. 

Man U Beats Liverpool Despite No Possession, Impossible Own Goal

Jose Mourinho’s Manchester United rarely had the ball and rarely attacked. The Red Devils gave up an own goal that looked impossible to score. And yet the Manchester United vs Liverpool match never seemed in doubt for the home side at Old Trafford, with a Marcus Rashford brace powering a 2-1 victory on Saturday.

Liverpool dominated in all the stats that don’t matter: possession (68-32 percent), shots (14-5) and corner kicks (13-1). But a couple of unimaginative, Route 1 attacks in the opening half hour were all Manchester United needed to secure victory. 

These Two World-Class David De Gea Saves Prove He’s Really All You Need

Back in 2003, NHL goaltender Jean-Sebastien Giguere was awarded the Conn Smythe Trophy as the MVP of the Stanley Cup playoffs. He was unreal, but the following offseason, with Giguere’s infamously large gear the inspiration, the NHL implemented pad restrictions and a $25K fine for teams found guilty of ignoring the rule. In essence, Giguere could no longer resemble the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. 

Watching David de Gea tend the net is like watching Giguere in the days of yore. He’s obviously cheating.

Alexis Sanchez Got His First Taste Of Mourinho-Ball

Alexis Sanchez made his Manchester United debut, starting against League 2 side Yeovil Town in the FA Cup. Manchester United won 4-0, which was to be expected. Marcus Rashford, Ander Herrera, Jesse Lingard and Romelu Lukaku scored the goals, and Alexis collected a debut assist. For that, it appears he was named man of the match.

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