Humor

Minnesota's Facebook Page Is Comedy Gold After Signing South Africa's Bongokuhle Hlongwane

Coming off a disappointing 2021 season in which Minnesota United clearly took a step backward, there wasn't much joy to be found among Loons fans at the start of the offseason. 

Andy Carroll Hits 2 Contenders For Goal Of The Season, But Both Are Ruled Out For Offside

Relegation-threatened Reading got absolutely hammered by promotion hopefuls Fulham in the Championship on Tuesday — losing 7-0 at the Madejski to braces from Harry Wilson and Aleksandar Mitrović and further goals from Kenny Tete, Neeskens Kebano and Tosin Adarabioyo. 

In a poetically fitting way, Reading's 33-year-old striker Andy Carroll also had two outrageous efforts ruled out for being clearly offside. 

Big Man Adebayo Akinfenwa Crushes His Teammates After Incredible 90+8' Equalizer

Wycombe Wanderers and Sunderland played out a batshit crazy League One match Saturday that saw the two clubs exchange four goals in the opening 39 minutes before each scored in second-half stoppage time to cap a wild 3-3 draw. 

A David Stockdale own goal gave Sunderland the lead in the third minute, but Wycombe responded through Anis Mehmeti in the 13th. The Blues then went ahead through Sam Vokes in the 36th, but the Black Cats equalized only three minutes later thanks to Ross Stewart's goal.

Scotland's Elgin City Is Officially America's Team

*Fox NFL theme music*

*Camera pans to Lincoln Financial Field*

Joe Buck: "Welcome to Philadelphia, PA for this riveting divisional game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Elgin City FC, as these two rivals fight for the NFC East title. I'm Joe Buck and this is my partner Troy Aikman, and Troy, what have you made of this stifling Elgin City defense?"

That's right, move over Dallas Cowboys, Elgin City FC is now America's Team.

But how did we get here?

Barcelona Went Toe-To-Toe With The World’s Most Fearsome Keeper And Barely Escaped His Wrath

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive Barcelona for knocking the most interesting goalkeeper in the world out of the Copa del Rey on Wednesday. Barcelona defeated third-tier side Linares Deportivo 2-1. Between the sticks for Linares was Ghanaian Brimah Razak.

One year ago, Razak went viral for his choice of headwear during a Copa del Rey clash with Sevilla.

Chelsea Has One Foot In Carabao Cup Final Courtesy Of Outrageously Comical Spurs Own Goal

A ridiculous Tottenham own goal helped Chelsea to a 2-0 victory in the first leg of the Carabao Cup semifinal. Ben Davies is the unlucky fellow credited for the own goal. There wasn’t much he could do after his fellow defender Japhet Tanganga headed the ball directly into Davies before nestling into the Tottenham net.

Tottenham Own Goal vs. Chelsea

Lorenzo Insigne Is About To Become The 11th Highest Paid Team In MLS

Back on Dec. 28, news broke that Napoli captain and Italian international Lorenzo Insigne was seriously considering joining Toronto FC in the summer following the completion of the 2021-22 European season. The rumor had a lot of clout, especially the bit about Toronto making him Major League Soccer's highest-ever paid player.

Big Tackles And Buzz Cuts: Creating The Ultimate Brexit Ball XI

Since the advent of the sport in the 1800s, England and football have been intrinsically linked. This bond started with schoolboys on muddy fields, with the objective to get the ball from one end of the field to the other by any means necessary — no rules, no limit on numbers, only brute force.

Football has now evolved into an organized game; manicured, well-lined pitches, tidy uniforms, and 11 players on each side. Kicking the opponent was outlawed and shinguards were installed should a stray boot make contact with the tibia.

Sydney Leroux Has Perfectly Reasonable Response To Son Wearing Tottenham Kit

It’s not easy being a single mother. It’s even harder when you’re a professional athlete. But Sydney Leroux sure makes it look easy, or at least fun.

Preseason NWSL camps are less than a month away. With that in mind, Sydney Leroux was in the backyard getting in some training this week with her 5-year-old son, Cassius, who was sporting a full Tottenham kit. Leroux, a 31-year-old Orlando Pride forward and prime Mom of the Year candidate, did what any self-respecting parent would do upon seeing their offspring wearing Spurs colors: kick a ball straight at the kid’s head.

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