Humor

Liverpool left back Alberto Moreno and attacker Roberto Firmino both showed up for the new season having changed their haircuts to be in line with a curious trend: the top knot.

The top knot, for the uninitiated, is a knot of hair on the top of one's head that makes the wearer look like they have a paint brush sticking out of their head.

Barcelona used some rather unorthodox training methods ahead of their game against Celtic in Dublin Saturday. 

The team walked out onto the pitch at St. George's Park expecting maybe some shooting drills or perhaps a little El Rondo action, only to greeted by the sight of a dozen human bubble suits. 

That's right folks. The secret to Barcelona's success is intensive rounds of bubble football. 

He’s been called the Chuck Norris of football. He’s referred to as a lord and “The Powerhouse”. Likened to “a blunt instrument with which to bludgeon defenses”, Emile Heskey changed the way we viewed the forward position during his playing days.

Heskey burst onto the scene with Leicester City back in 1994, and he reached his pinnacle with Liverpool during the 2000-01 season after scoring 14 Premier League goals in 36 matches.

You remember Simone Zaza's penalty against Germany, right? The funny one, the one that he was subbed on specifically to take and then flubbed in comical fashion? Well, that penalty has reared its ugly head once again, but this time it was a German taking it: Dirk Nowitzki.

Look at the penalty this dude took.

As much as the people in charge would like for it to be a competitive tournament, the International Champions Cup is a collection of friendlies between big teams trying to grow their fan-bases in new, previously untapped markets. The players will run around a little, the coaches will evaluate some youth academy players and everyone will be nice before heading home. They're just friendlies. No one is taking them seriously. Except for Cesc Fabregas.

Look what happened when Cesc and Liverpool center back Ragnar Klavan go after the same ball.

The Olympics haven't started yet, so Brazilian striker Neymar has nothing to do except sit around and learn to play golf. Try to learn to play golf, that is.

The Selecao captain received a golfing lesson from 16-year-old Spanish golfer Agueda Cortilla Mas, a Barcelona native. She was very good at showing Neymar how to golf. He was very bad at golfing.

A giant lizard took a penalty against a dolphin before a Japanese J League match. We have no idea why this happened, but we do know that, in the event of a penalty shootout, any giant lizards should not be among your five takers.

This penalty was a disaster, and not the kind Godzilla usually perpetuates. He swung at it with his tail and missed because he is not super coordinated with the whole spinning thing. 

Pro Evolution Soccer, Konami’s rival to the EA Sports FIFA franchise, will be celebrating its 16th edition this year, and PES 2017 looks set to give FIFA a run for its money.

After watching the official launch trailer, I can confirm that I close my eyes and see Andres Iniesta’s 3D photo scanned face. I’m equal parts impressed and horrified.

The title of "World's Saltiest Soccer Team" 2016 has already been decided. There will be no more entries. The Tampa Bay Rowdies have won.

The Rowdies made a compilation video of times the referees have wronged them this season and it is seven minutes long. The video is titled "2016 Rowdies Officiating Deficiencies," which is just another way of saying "they're out to get us".