Humor

Wenger Watch Week 2: Stoking The "Wenger Out" Flames

Can the Wenger-O-Meter do it on a cold Monday night at Stoke? Arsenal certainly couldn't take care of business there on Saturday. The Gunners failed to win a penalty despite several shouts, and were beaten 1-0 by the Potters despite being the more aggressive side.

So there were positives! There usually are, but the fact remains that Arsenal lost to Stoke, swinging the Wenger-O-Meter from the "IN" position dangerously toward the "OUT" position.

Arsene Wenger

Let's Be Honest, Christian Pulisic's Goal Celebration Could Use Some Work

Christian Pulisic may be The Truth, but someone needs to tell him the truth about his goal celebration. We can’t figure out what the hell he’s doing. Maybe someone else can, but we can't.

Before you get bent out of shape and start screaming at us, accusing us of being un-American, hold your horses. We know Christian Pulisic is great. We're with you. He's certainly one of the top American soccer players of all time. There's a chance he's the best American ever. Like, better than Abe Lincoln. Seriously, we feel you, @FearTheWall.

Marko Arnautović Wins Red Card Award For Outstanding Sportsmanship

Last week, Jonjo Shelvey revealed himself to be the thinking man of the Premier League when he stomped on Dele Alli's ankle in plain sight of the referee, presumably after running the idea by his good friend Potato Brain. It was a true display of intellect, the likes of which we thought we would never see again.

Oh happy day, we were wrong.

Antonio Conte Is Going To Have Diego Costa Assassinated

I have already discussed the notion that Chelsea manager Antonio Conte is a hit man, and soon the whole world might get the proof it needs to accept this idea.

Here's Conte when asked about striker Diego Costa, who is currently pining as hard as he can for a move to Atletico Madrid, so much so that instead of flying from Brazil to Chelsea to report for training like he was told, he got on a plane to Madrid instead.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Zany Video Game Lives Up To His Name

All footballers aspire to see their likeness in the FIFA videogame. The best aspire to be on the cover of FIFA. The Zlatan aspires to make his own damn game. 

Zlatan Legends, developed by Isbit Games, was released Thursday on the Apple App Store worldwide to critical acclaim — well, acclaim. Created in the likeness of legendary Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the game has you kick a ball around a course as fast as you can. 

Essentially it’s a soccer/racing game/endless runner hybrid with an intergalactic space milieu. If that’s not Zlatan, I don’t know what is. 

A Pep Guardiola XI Consisting Only Of Full Backs Would Actually Be Dope AF

Before Pep Guardiola came down from the mountaintop proclaiming the new age of the 4-3-3 with attacking width providing by the wide defenders, nobody knew what a full back was. Sure, Roberto Carlos once struck a football so hard that we all admitted their existence, but that was all anyone knew about the position. What did they do? Why were they there? It was hard to know and even harder to explain.

What Would Zlatan Be Like As A Coach?

Manchester United have reportedly offered Zlatan Ibrahimovic a contract to play for them when he's done rehabilitating the knee injury he suffered at the end of last season, with an eye toward a transition to a coaching role.

Watch Francesco Totti Put His Incredible Passing Skills To Good Use On A Boat

True greatness knows no boundaries. It cannot be confined to the lines of a soccer field. It can appear anywhere: in a Rio de Janeiro favela, a dusty African village or an elite European academy.

OR, on a boat, anchored somewhere idyllic, surrounded by other boats. Francesco Totti graced the pitch professionally for more than 20 years and, now retired, needs an outlet for his incredible passing skills. Thus, boats.

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