The Super Bowl is Sunday, an event American-centric viewers like to think of as the greatest sporting event in the world (it isn’t). But with the New England Patriots set to face off against the LA Rams in one of the least-inspiring Super Bowl matchups imaginable, we can’t help but think about the Super Bowl owners MLS clubs — and how pathetic they are.
Burnley did not have a great day at the office on Saturday. The club traveled to the Etihad to play Manchester City in the FA Cup and was routinely routed 5-0. But it was nothing compared to what happened to the poor Man City corner flag.
To no one’s surprise, the Citizens ran rampant, spreading five goals across the 90 minutes and five different goal scorers. The pick of the bunch was Kevin de Bruyne’s blistering shot from about 20 yards out.
Manchester City are in control.
With the NBA in London, you knew footballers would show up just like last year — even if the league sent two of its worst teams overseas.
The Washington Wizards played the New York Knicks on Thursday evening at the O2 Arena in London. No one really cares who won or lost seeing as they’re a combined 31 games under .500. But we care which Premier League stars came out to see the tall men shoot balls into tiny hoops.
We’ve got Mad Ants, Baby Cakes and Lights. There are Isotopes, Rowdies and Skyforce. And of course Steel, Go-Go and IronPigs.
When you’re not the best at something, you’ve got to come up with unique ways to promote yourself. I know this first hand from trying to find a romantic partner.
Minor league sports teams also know this well. It’s why lower-division clubs often have unique nicknames you just don’t find anywhere else.
So which of America’s top three lower divisions — in soccer, baseball and basketball — have the best team nicknames?
In the early days of Major League Soccer, it wasn’t uncommon for players to take up part-time jobs in the offseason to supplement what was often meager pay. While many players made a comfortable living, rookies and squad players often struggled to make ends meet.
These days, every MLS player makes at least $54,000 — a livable wage to be sure, but nothing spectacular. Minnesota United center back Brent Kallman recently made more than that playing another — far less physically demanding — game.
As if Kansas City hadn’t fallen hard enough for Patrick Mahomes — what with his absurd 37 touchdowns and 330 yards passing per game as a sophomore in the NFL — the Chiefs quarterback gained even more fans on Thursday night by turning out in support of Sporting KC during the MLS playoffs.
Next Monday, the Los Angeles Rams are set to “host” the Kansas City Chiefs in an NFL game at Mexico City’s Estadio Azteca. However, the league is reportedly looking into moving the game back to LA because the field, quite frankly, looks like a case of hellfire diarrhea.
Last May, the legendary stadium switched its pitch from natural grass to a hybrid surface, but with both Club America and Cruz Azul utilizing the Azteca, the grass has been a constant source of anxiety over the last few months.
If everything goes according to plan — and, as the numbers to come show, it almost certainly will — the USWNT will reach the milestone of 500 wins with a victory over Portugal on Thursday. Having only begun play in 1985, the program has reached the mark at a fiendish pace by rolling off wins at a remarkable clip — the USWNT boasts a win percentage of 84. That certainly puts the USWNT in the discussion for the winningest team in sports history.