Central & South America

Photo Of 10-Year-Old Lionel Messi With His Future Wife Is True Love

In the competition for the cutest thing you’ll see today, Argentinian newspaper La Capital has published a photo of a 10-year-old Lionel Messi alongside wife-to-be Antonela Rocuzzo, age nine, at the holiday resort of Punta Mogotes in Argentina.

According to the article, Messi was there for a youth tournament in a nearby city and Antonela was there to watch her cousin, Lucas Scaglia, who was Messi’s teammate. Scaglia now plays for the Las Vegas Lights in the USL Championship.

Argentine Club Using Viagra To Combat Altitude — Yeah, Sure

Argentine club Unión de Santa Fe really wants to get past Ecuador’s Independiente del Valle in the first stage of the 2019 Copa Sudamericana. But are we really buying the club’s reasoning for using Viagra before the match?

The Unión-Independiente match will be played Wednesday evening at Estadio Olimpico Atahualpa, which is 9,350 feet above sea level. For comparison, Mile High Stadium in Denver is 5,280 feet above sea level, and I am writing this article at 5,328 feet. 

This Variant Of The “Pele Runaround Move” Might Be Better Than The OG

Sometimes a miss can be just as beautiful as a goal. I once compiled a list of my favorite almost goals (which you can find here), but a lot of them include the football cracking off the post in a totally satisfactory way (large ping included) or Zinedine Zidane “Zidane Turning” his way beyond defenders before languidly spooning a shot into the heavens. 

Pope Francis Says Lionel Messi “Is Not God,” But That Free Kick Was Divine

With 11 goals and four assists in his last eight appearances for Barcelona, including hat tricks against Sevilla and Real Betis, it’s become increasingly difficult to separate Lionel Messi’s image from that of the divine. 

Toxic Atmosphere Surrounding National Team Forces Gonzalo Higuain Into Retirement

Gonzalo Higuain has called it quits on his national career after ten years with la Albiceleste. The Chelsea star was one of Argentina’s best strikers in recent years, scoring 31 goals in 75 appearances, but his decision to retire from international duty comes after constant criticism from Argentina fans.

All Hail His Grace, Lionel Messi, First Of His Name, King Of Football, Lord Of The Universe And Protector Of Barcelona

Winter is coming April 14 when the greatest show of all time returns for its eighth and final season. What better way to advertise the upcoming finale than giving a pair of Game of Thrones customized adidas trainers to one of the greatest football players of all time, Lionel Messi.

Miggy Puts The Face On And Then Commits A Godawful Tackle On Mexico’s José Juan Vázquez

Last night, a crowd of 50,000 watched Mexico defeat Paraguay 4-2 at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California, to make it two wins in two matches for new manager Gerardo “Tata” Martino. 

During a space of 18 first half minutes, El Tri posted three on the South American side to effectively put the game to bed. LA Galaxy midfielder Jonathan dos Santos scored his first international goal in his 40th appearance, Gustavo Gomez put one into his own net and then Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez slotted home the third with only 24 minutes on the clock.

Diego Godín Now Most Capped Uruguayan Of All Time, A Fitting Record For An Absolute Monster

Uruguay thumped Thailand 4-0 Monday to capture the 2019 China Cup, but the real story of the match was captain Diego Godín collecting his 126th cap for la Celeste, making him the record holder in that department for the two-time world champions.

Adidas Unveils New Jerseys For Mexico, Argentina And Colombia

It’s less than three months before the Copa América kicks off in Brazil and the Gold Cup commences across the United States, so adidas is pulling out all the stops when it comes to some of the biggest teams in its stable. This week, adidas revealed the jerseys that Mexico, Argentina and Colombia will be wearing at the major international tournaments.

I Know How I Want To Be Commemorated When I Die (Or Win The Lottery)

How do you best secure your legacy for as close to all eternity as humanly possible? Is it by practicing an inscrutably benevolent existence, and by leaving breadcrumbs of goodwill along this path we call life? Or is it by building a Great Pyramid in the style of Khufu?    

When you die, how do you want to be commemorated? With something solemn and dignified, or do you want your body to be trapezed around the room like a spectacular, moribund puppet?  

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