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The UEFA Champions League is supposed to be the best club competition in the world, and an elusive competition where the best of the best would compete. However, that hasn’t been the case for a while now. At least not in the group stage. 

We’ve seen too many one-sided results lately, such as Barcelona putting seven past Celtic, Borussia Dortmund dominating Legia Warsaw by six, and Bayern Munich hammering FC Rostov by five. The competition was losing its appeal and UEFA had to do something about it. 

We were just doodling along in soccer Internet land when we came across an item from the BBC concerning disgraced former FIFA President Joseph "Sepp" Blatter.

"Well!" we thought to ourselves. "That certainly is interesting! We wonder how the old boy's suspension, erm, retirement is going!"

Not well, as it turnsout. From the article

They came, they saw, they conquered. That’s the American plan for FC Barcelona and club president Josep Maria Bartomeu following the opening of a Barca office in New York on Tuesday.

The Empire State Building projected the Blaugrana colors, Ronaldinho completed the ribbon-cutting ceremony with a signature no-look pass into a mini-goal and the Barcelona flag was hoisted outside Barca’s new headquarters in Midtown Manhattan.  

FIFA president Gianni Infantino has dropped the biggest hint yet as to where he believes the 2026 World Cup should take place. Following the awarding of the 2018 World Cup to Russia and the 2022 edition to Qatar, the venue for the 2026 version of the competition is to be decided in 2020.

Originally, the process was due to be completed in May of 2017, but FIFA experienced some minor setbacks that you might’ve heard about.

Zenit St. Petersburg received a remarkable offer from Burger King to change the team's name to "Zenit Burger King".

Really.

Zenit have received a €6.8-million offer from @BurgerKing to change team's name to "Zenit Burger King".

— Artur Petrosyan (@arturpetrosyan) September 2, 2016

Alright, who’s ready to feel sick and ill at the same time? You? Let’s go. FIFA is cleaning up its act. FIFA is getting its s*** together. That’s hard work — they were mired in metaphorical defecation up to the neck following the reign of corruption’s Sepp Blatter. It’s such a grind piecing together the fallen remnants of football’s global governing body that newly elected FIFA president Gianni Infantino will receive $1.52 million, a car, housing and a monthly expense limit of $2,025 for his troubles.

“I uh…I eat a lot of frozen stuff…It’s usually pretty bad, I mean the pictures are always so awesome, you know? It’s like ‘Hell yeah, I’m starved for this lasagna!’ and then you nuke it and the cheese gets all scabby on top and it’s like…it’s like you’re eating a scab…I mean, seriously, what’s that about? It’s like ‘Yo! What ever happened to truth in advertising?’ You know?” -Jesse Pinkman

This quote from Aaron Paul’s Breaking Bad character could effectively be applied to Paul’s own PokerStars Duel face-off against footballing superstar Cristiano Ronaldo. 

The pot just got bigger for clubs in the UEFA Champions League — a lot bigger.

Sometimes a story comes along that just feels right. This is one of those. Mino Raiola, the super-agent who represents Manchester United new boys Paul Pogba, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Henrikh Mkhitaryan, has purchased a Miami beach house once owned by crime boss Al Capone.