Amazing Goals

Down 2-0 with only 40 minutes remaining in last night’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal, Haiti produced a barnstorming comeback to knockout Canada 3-2 while clinching a spot in the semifinals for the first time ever. 

The progress that Canada had evidently made under John Herdman had been one of the talking points of the group stage, and there were whispers of the Canucks upsetting the odds to claim their first continental title since 2000.

Twitter, like Reddit before it, was once a largely satirical, clandestine take on whataboutery — a safe place against the echo chambers of fallacy that invaded popular media sources with the power to turn Mahatma Gandhi into a cynic. In their absurdism, Twitter and Reddit remained far from the trappings of modern media. That’s no longer the case.

Our takes are now dictated by the reactionary, reward-seeking behavior that's seeped into all social platforms, contributing directly to the cacophony of noise that leads to the short-sighted negligence we all, supposedly, abhor.

ROOOOONEY. The 33-year-old has done it again. The last time he scored from his own half was for Everton against West Ham back in 2017, but the D.C. United attacker has now accomplished the feat stateside. And from much, much deeper.  

Someone more finely attuned with the dimensions of Audi Field probably has the answer, but I think this one arrived from the White House. 

If you’re an American viewer that can’t get enough of watching soccer on TV, you’ve probably quickly realized this summer that you actually can get enough of it. 

The opening goal from today’s Women’s World Cup Round of 16 match between England and Cameroon was an epic tale involving back passes, indirect free kicks and saliva. Yeah, that kind of goal. 

The story begins in the 12th minute, when Cameroon’s Augustine Ejangue cushioned a cross straight towards her own goalkeeper. Instead of clearing it, Annette Ngo Ndom picked it up, putting Cameroon in violation of the back-pass rule. 

With a victory over New Zealand on Thursday afternoon, Cameroon would secure passage to the Round of 16 at the Women’s World Cup. They got there with the last kick of the match — Ajara Nchout’s improbable winner lifted her nation to a 2-1 victory after a calamitous 80th-minute own goal had threatened to ruin it all.  

You just can’t give Andres Guardado that much space. 

Canada may have one of its best squads in decades, but if it wants to compete for its first Gold Cup since 2000, the Canucks will have to defend better than they did early in the second half against Mexico.