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#WeAreAllLeoMessi Was Dumb, But Barcelona's Explanation Was Even Dumber

I want to make one thing perfectly clear before we begin: this isn’t about the soccer. I love Messi when he plays soccer. Messi lights up the world and makes my day better when he has a ball at his feet. This isn't even really about Messi. It isn't his fault Barcelona initiated a tone-deaf social media campaign to support him after he got convicted of tax fraud. It's Barcelona's fault. And now they've gone and made it worse.

Barcelona released a weird PR statement defending the campaign after it was rightly mocked. The problem is the defense makes even less sense than the original campaign did.

Don’t they get it? Messi won! He isn’t going to jail! He’s going to play for Barcelona for the next two years (so long as his accountants handle their business) and probably win La Liga and maybe win the Champions League.

He isn’t going to be wasting his days away in a minimum-security prison for rich white-collar criminals. He’s going to be fine.

From Barcelona's website:

“Messi is being treated unfairly and the Club is taking a position to defend him. Our conscience is clear and we will not back down.” “We invite people to sign up to the campaign. It is very simple, a photo, a video, any kind of gesture, showing the number 10, his number, with your hands – as such anyone can show their support for Messi via social media. It is a simple initiative, but one we think works for Barça fans and members.”

“We are talking about Messi, a lad who was 19 years of age when he signed those contracts and it has been demonstrated that he did not know how it worked at that moment. He focused on playing football and signed contracts based on the trust placed in financial advisors, who work for him, looking after his earnings,” said Vives.

It is worth remembering that when this process started, the Tax Office highlighted the irregularity, “Messi paid an enormous fine, 50 million euros and with his position clarified, he becomes the top contributor in the country,” reminded Vives.

 

Even if he did pay a high fine, his net worth is still north of $200 million, a fact that is standing in the way of me feeling sorry for him.

Don't get me wrong, I want to be Leo Messi. I want to be the best footballer ever and win stuff and score goals and live in Barcelona and be fabulously wealthy, but that's just not feasible for me right now. It isn't feasible for anyone except for like five footballers who can relate to his situation.

Barcelona FC doesn't stop there though. Their explanation gets even more stupid:

The Club spokesman went on to add: “The Finance Ministry, who defend people’s wellbeing, do not accuse Messi because they understand there is no legal basis to accuse him. They do it because they are convinced that there is no legal case against Messi. Thus, they maintain the legal position of the state in the name of the Tax Office and that in other similar cases it turns out that another criteria has been applied to that of Messi. That is not open to interpretation, these are empirical, objective facts. And here is where the Club believes the injustice begins,” stated Vives.

In my brief journalism career, I have read a few bad defenses for things concocted by PR staffers who clearly had no idea what they were doing, but this is far and away the looniest. The reason they accused him is because there "is no legal case against Messi"? Really? Didn't he have to pay a fine, and didn't he get slapped with a two-year, suspended jail sentence? Wouldn't those facts speak to there being a real, actual legal case against him?

I also love that they say these things are empirical, objective facts. It shows that they have no real understanding of what empirical, objective facts are. This statement is closer to "the opinion of the Barcelona PR team" than it is to "empirical, objective facts." There is not a single empirical, objective fact in that paragraph except for the part where they say the club spokesman said the dumb things. I'm sure he actually said those dumb things.

Y'all think they're done, huh. They couldn't possibly top that for stupidity, could they?

Oh, but they could:

Finally, Vives said that also some members of the state legal team had used expressions of “disdain” towards Messi and that here was an example of “bitterness and humiliation and that is not something the Club can tolerate.” “There have been other famous figures who have not been through the same situation as Messi. That disdain we do not want for any fan, member or Messi either. For that reason we have launched the campaign and we will go beyond that because it is just and we will support Messi in any action he takes from now on. We believe in this,” concluded Vives. 

THEY'RE OUT TO GET US! DON'T YOU SEE? THE GOVERNMENT IS OUT TO GET MESSI AND BY EXTENSION BARCELONA! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

Wake up, Barcelona.

(H/T Barcelona)

Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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