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Tobin Heath Will Ruin Your Life

You're a defender, and you're playing against the United States Women's National Team. This in and of itself would be nerve-wracking. The USWNT are the defending World Cup champions and they have a habit of beating up on opponents by scores of like, 7-0. 

You're a defender and you're facing the USWNT and you're already a little worried and then it happens: the Americans trot out the most terrifying, intimidating female player in the world.

Tobin Heath

RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE IT'S TOBIN HEATH!

OK, so she's not exactly Julio Baptista, but her skills on the ball are enough to give any defender nightmares.

Seriously, though, you might want to just go home lest she do to you what she did to Colombia last week.

I'm pretty sure it's in the rulebook that if that happens to you in a professional soccer game you have to just go home. I would welcome retrement at that point. Even that poor defender on the goal line got wrecked and she wasn't anywhere near Tobin, who did eventually score in the game.

The USWNT took on Colombia again this weekend, and Heath had two assists in the victory. Safe to say the Colombian defenders have had just about enough of Tobin Heath, and who could blame them?

Contact THe18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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