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The summer transfer saga is a mainstay of the European off-season. These tales of opulence are long on sensationalism and short on fact, but a good transfer yarn need only have a modicum of plausibility to fly. This isn't about journalistic integrity, it's about selling papers. It’s about players adding another zero to their salaries and agents squeezing every last petro-dollar out of a club's War Chest (possibly the most hackneyed phrase in the transfer lexicon).
Throw in a World Cup for good measure and you have all the ingredients of a particularly tedious summer of elongated transfer wrangling. Below are some of this year's most likely transfer sagas:
(Photo: @LFC | Twitter)
Luis Suarez to Real Madrid: Many moons ago, during the reign of Philip II, it was written into Spanish law that Real Madrid, "shall acquire at great expense one Galactico per annum, on pain of death." Always willing to comply with royal diktat, Los Blancos are expected to embark on a lengthy wooing of Luis Suarez this summer. After all, the Uruguayan was the Premier League's top scorer in 2013-14 and what Real really needs is to bring in some attacking talent, right? Makes perfect sense.
(Photo: mooinblack | Shutterstock.com)
Eden Hazard to PSG: With the £50 million acquisition of David Luis, Paris Saint Germain has already hoisted the monetary equivalent of a middle finger at UEFA's Financial Fair Play rules, but it appears their summer spending won’t stop there. Reports of a fallingout between Hazard and Mourinho were expertly flamed by both the player and the French press, and although Chelsea are adamant the Belgian flyer isn't for sale, the Parisians’ seemingly limitless resources will see this one run and run.
(Photo: Natursports | Shutterstock.com)
Cesc Fabregas to Arsenal: Having spent the equivalent of half the Federal Reserve signing Neymar, and the other half extending Leo Messi's contract, Luis Enrique needs to sell if he wants to make any additions to the squad he inherited from Gerardo Martino. Already the star of one of last year's dreariest sagas, Fabregas is again being linked with a move away from Camp Nou, this time to former club Arsenal. That the Gunners already have Aaron Ramsey, Jack Wilshire and Mesut Ozil in midfield is of no concern to the mainstream media, who never let the nuances of tactics or formation spoil a good rumor.
(Photo: @TransferOdds | Twitter)
Yaya Toure to PSG (or anyone who’ll remember his birthday): The slimmer of the Toure brothers (Kolo served a six-month ban in 2011 for taking water tablets) is actively touting himself to Europe’s richest clubs as he seeks to find that special someone who’ll truly appreciate him. Today it’s PSG, tomorrow, who knows. But, as his agent is at pains to make clear, it definitely isn’t about money. Oh no.
(Photo: @josecfcmourinho | Twitter)
Paul Pogba to Chelsea: The French powerhouse helped Juventus to two Serie A titles in his first two seasons, and The Old Lady is reportedly resigned to cashing in on a player they signed from Manchester United for nothing. With a penchant for all-action midfielders and £50 million burning a hole in his back pocket, Jose Mourinho is ready to make a move, though he may face competition from Real Madrid.
(Photo: @LouisVanGiggs11 | Twitter)
Any Dutchman to Manchester United: With new United boss Louis van Gaal still in charge of Holland, you can bet your bottom guilder that anyone Oranje showing a modicum of talent in Brazil will be linked with a move to Old Trafford. Names already touted include: Arjen Robben, Daley Blind, Jordy Clasie and Bruno Martins Indi. File this one under journalism of the laziest variety.
